The Choices We Make
by palomino333
Summary: Armada AU Starscream had a simple choice: return to the Decepticons or become a full-fledged Autobot. His choice changed his entire life.
1. Chapter 1

This has been my greatest hit on Deviantart! I loved Transformers Armada, and Starscream was my favorite character. I thought him and Alexis would go well together after seeing Mars, Portent, and Cramp. I hated how he left during Crack, so I decided last year to start an AU story about what could have happened if he'd changed his mind. I didn't think it'd grow into a thirty-chapter fic and sequel, but that's thanks to the support of my friends! This entire fic will be taken from Starscream's (often wise-ass) POV, and the sequel will be posted. I don't own Transformers.

All my life, I've been unsure. Unsure of my existence, my lifestyle, and even myself at times.

Thousands of years like this seems long, doesn't it? That's what happens when a leader has been spawned from the Pit.

Probably the only thing I have ever been exactly sure of was that Megatron had to go, and I would be the cause of his demise, no matter what. I would get my revenge on him for the brutal and humiliating tortures he had endlessly bestowed upon me ever since I was enlisted under him.

Unfortunately, my plans made me do, well, crazy things. Like choose to join the Autobots and change my outlook completely. Imagine having a belief embedded in you since birth, then suddenly realizing that belief was all wrong.

XXXXXX

Right then, I was being faced with doing another crazy thing: rejoin the Decepticons and become a tortured puppet once more.

In my one hand was clutched the shining Star Saber, while in my other was the Skyboom Shield, which I had just stolen from my new leader when he really needed it. Draped over my arm was the quilted chaomis the human kids had given me just for doing a little thing for them. Meanwhile, I nearly died in battle at one point, and that tyrant, Megatron, couldn't care less.

In front of me was that deranged moron with the cone-shaped head, Thrust. I wouldn't normally trust the pansy as far as I could throw him, but his offer from before had been very tempting bait: join him and kill Megatron.

"Well Starscream, what'll it be?" he asked.

Ever get the feeling that everyone is suddenly watching? It hit me like a wave as soon as he finished asking and I couldn't help but look down and mumble a cuss word.

EVERYONE was looking up at me with anger, confusion, indifference, and even sadness on their faces.

Wait, only sadness on her face, no one else's.

Alexis looked so small from where I was up in the air, floating while she stood, bound to the ground, but I could easily see the look.

She'd really considered me a friend, and I shown her that I didn't care.

It'd been hard switching sides with being ignored and sometimes made fun of as the consequences, just like it was with the Decepticons, but Alexis tried to talk to me, not that the others hadn't, but let's face it: fight against someone enough, everything they say sounds bad.

Alexis was either stupid or very kind-hearted, but no matter what she was, at least she was there. At least there was someone other than Swindle to comfort me, even though I didn't always want her to.

After all that, I felt like Cybertron's biggest piece of scrap being dumped out into space. This was pathetic; I was going to throw everything away for some little promise that most likely wouldn't come true!

I extended the hand that I held the Skyboom Shield with, yelling, "You know what, Thrust? No!"

Catching him off guard, I dove down through the air, trying to get the shield back to where it should have been.

I really needed to learn to look before I went.

A shot blasted into my right wing, and then another hit my left.

Getting hit in the wings feels like getting arms chopped off, by the way, so yeah, it was VERY PAINFUL.

Twisting my head around to see who had fired, I saw that it was Megatron, of course, his optics looking like red balls of fire.

Giving him the dirtiest look I could, I threw the shield over to the Autobots' side, hoping someone would catch it, and then went right for him, ready to impale him with the Star Saber.

Another stupid idea. I was breaking my personal record. Bring out the energon.

Suddenly, everything around me just turned white.

My last thought was to keep ahold of the Saber and not let the beast get it, while something ripped apart in the background...


	2. Chapter 2

Here's Chapter 2! Thanks for putting this on story alert, guys! I don't own Transformers.

I really didn't want to wake up.

One of two things was going to happen: I was going to still be lying on the battlefield, or I'd be a war prisoner of Megatron. The second option would make an entire existence in the Pit look like nothing. Why couldn't I just die?

It was pretty surprising to find out that it wasn't either of them.

I was lying on a berth, staring up at a gray ceiling, while wires connected my smashed-in chestplate and broken wings, courtesy of the robot devil himself, to various machines. It looked somewhat familiar...

"Good, you're awake."  
I looked over to see Red Alert, the Autobots' doctor. He was a way too uptight mech for me, but hey, he got the job done.

"Why am I here?" I croaked, trying to sound demanding, even though I felt weak, too weak to even sit up. I hated that, big time.

"You're hurt. I'm fixing you." he replied simply.

Rolling my optics, I gave him an I-know-that-you-idiot look.

"Just go back into recharge."

"Right after you're so concerned about me waking up?" I challenged.

"Go into recharge, Starscream." he repeated.

"How am I supposed to know you won't try to kill me while I am?" I asked, dead serious now.

Red folded his arms. If he wasn't wearing a viosr, his look would probably have scared away any Mini-Con or human that happened to waltz over to him. Then again, the bright scarlet radiating from it would have done the job anyway. "Recharge. Now. Or do you want me to induce you?"

I took the less humiliating option.

XXXXXX

It didn't seem like much time passed by when I was shaken awake. "You're done."

My optics revealed to me that the wires had been removed, and my chestplate was repaired with about a couple of dents left over. My wings were okay, too, but something seemed off.

Turning to the side and tilting my head up to get a better look at my other one, I saw it was totally white; no insignia. I turned to my other side and looked at my other wing. Blank.

I smirked. Megatron had "discharged" me from the Decepticons, and right now, it felt like quite an honor.

Red Alert cleared his throat from next to me.

"What?" I asked, looking up at him.

"You could at least thank me. It took me a while to fix to you."

I narrowed my optics at him, sitting up in a defensive crouch, no longer feeling weak. "What do you mean?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose irritably. "I can't just magically heal a transformer in a few seconds. It took me a few days, and that was lucky. If that hole in your chestplate had been deeper, it would have taken me over a week."

"So you did induce me!" I accused, pointing my index finger at him. Hadn't I been lied to enough already?

"Sure, stubborn you would just let me do it. I forgot, I don't know anything compared to the All-Knowing Starscream."

Sheesh. I had always thought of Red as being a laid-back, technical little healer off the battlefield, but here he was, wising off to me. I felt like I was talking to a mirror for a split second.

I sighed, irritated as well. "Fine. Thank you."

"Just do us all a favor and not make stupid decisions."

"Are you calling me stupid?!" I glared daggers at the medic, which he evenly returned, his visor flashing again.

"If you jump the gun like that and almost get us all in danger, what else should any of us think? There're more living things concerned here than just you, Starscream!"

Deliberately turning his back on me, he murmured, "I thought you learned that on Mars from what I heard."

I let out a snort, swinging my long legs over the side of the berth to stand. "I only did that to snatch the Mini-Con before Megatron did."

Okay, I lied, I admit it. But I had a strong sense of pride and wouldn't let any of Red's comments get to me.

Now that I think of it, after all that's changed, I still have it, and it's been both a curse and a blessing.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, here's the next chapter! I'll try to update this fic as often as I can! I don't own Transformers.

As I turned the corner after leaving med bay, a little red and white race car sped up to me. I smiled. "Hey, Swindle."

Transforming and then tilting his little head up to look at me, he beeped, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. You and I both know I wouldn't let that fool keep me down." I replied, extending my hand so my partner Mini-Con could climb up on my shoulder.

He gave me a look as I did. Well, at least I still had someone who cared about me. I had the feeling that he had been hovering around med bay while I was unconscious.

"Time to run the gauntlet." I mumbled to myself.

I began to walk forward again, but stopped, my foot just barely hitting the ground.

"What?" Swindle beeped.

It had hit me like a ton. I had no side anymore. That's why my wings were blank. Which meant I had nowhere to go. Well, whatever, I could fly wherever I wanted. Yeah, and rust to death without decent shelter. Me and my stupid decisions.

Shaking my head, I pulled myself together, then had an idea.

Did I really want to be around others who hated me now? No. Right then, all I wanted to do was either A: fly around and think, or B: Take out my anger on the nearest rock.

Unfortunately, the only way out was through the main entrance. Could things possibly get any worse?

Oh wait, they did.

I let out a groan as I saw the main room had 'Bots and humans in there.

Everything went quiet as soon as I stepped in. Ever heard the "dead quiet" figure of speech? It's the creepiest thing to ever experience.

Well, I couldn't figure out what was worse, the silence, or who broke it.

"Why don't you go crawling back to the Decepticons, ya creep?" Hot Shot taunted.

A growl immediately rose in my throat at his words, and I fought the urge to  
pounce on him.

"Yeah, nobody needs you!" the brown-haired human, (What's his name? Oh, yeah...) Billy, added.

His large friend, the one that always ate a lot, threw one of the roocks I had brought back from Mars with me.

"You ungrateful little..." I growled angrily. The tension around me was so thick, I could cut it with my wingsword.

Hot Shot steadily glared at me from where he was standing near Sideswipe, who sat in front of a computer screen, looking nervous as he shifted his glance back and forth between us. Blurr was aloof, cleaning his sniper rifle on the other side of the room, but I swore I saw him aim it at my head out of the corner of my eye. On the floor, Billy and Fred, the kid who ate a lot, continued to glare as well, while Carlos stared over at the Mini-Con Grindor next to him, too disgusted to look at me. Rad looked very mad about something, which both Grindor and Highwire, another Mini-Con, were trying to calm him down about. No Alexis. Thank Primus.

This actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be; not everyone was here.

"Just go outside and cool off." Swindle beeped as my temper started to rise anyway. Pride problem, remember?

Picking my way gingerly over the human kids, even though part of me wanted to squash them flat, I headed out of that room of hate, not looking back even once.

XXXXXX

Outside, the bright sun seemed to burn off all of that tension I had been feeling. It was just Swindle and m-wait a minute.

My optics caught the forms of a bulldozer and a scoop loader, seemingly doing a construction job on a fallen rock pile.

"Think you two can fool me?" I whispered.

Just wonderful. Prime had probably sent Scavenger and Hoist to keep an eye on me. Everything was back to square one, just like when I first got there.

Giving my partner the okay to take a drive, I transformed into my jet form and took off.

The excitement of flight had gone stale for me ever since I joined this war, so pleasure was swapped out for brooding.

I felt ready to challenge any of the Autobots to a duel right then and there, but where would that get me? It kind of served me right for almost betraying them, but I did the right thing, didn't I? I'm no Megatron. Why couldn't they just leave me alone?

I really didn't get why they healed me if they didn't like me. What, did Prime just want me around as a prisoner? Yeah, okay, I was worth zip collateral in Megatron's optics. Or was that goody-goody-two-shoes trying to teach me a lesson like Jetfire did back on Mars?

The creepy thing was that it actually was a good lesson, teamwork, by the way. Was this how I was going to learn? Being punished? Had I really sunk that low?  
A spot of red on the landscape caught my eye, and I swooped down, figuring it was Swindle.

It wasn't.

Alexis sat on a ledge with Sureshock standing in a shaded area next to her, trying to comfort her. She was sobbing, actually full-out sobbing.

I felt pain inside as I watched her, stronger than when she had given me that sad look from before. Now she looked so weak, so vulnerable... I couldn't look at her.

Gunning my engine, I swung around and zoomed away in the opposite direction, not caring who said what about anything I did.


	4. Chapter 4

I didn't have very much I needed to do tonight, so I'm putting another chapter up. G1 Skyfire is mentioned here as dead, but Armada Jetfire is still alive and well. Just wanted to put that up to clear up any confusion. I don't own Transformers.

It was kinda strange. After a while I just didn't want to fly anymore.

Transforming, I landed on the ground and just sat there, Alexis's sobbing replaying over and over in my audio receptors. I would have much rather heard a reprimand instead.

My wish came true for once as I heard wheels roll up, then stop.

I raised my head to see Scavenger transform and loom over me, his golden optics giving me the standard no-nonsense look.

"You done?" he asked, annoyed.

I shrugged, then nodded.

"Good. Come on."

As I followed the bulldozer, a jet again, I was thankful that Scavenger was always straight to the point on things. Still, a nagging feeling told me he wasn't done yet.  
It took us longer than I thought to get back to the base. I didn't realize I'd flown that far.

Finally, just as I felt ready to yell at Scavenger for driving so tremendously slow, he stopped and transformed. Landing, I did the same.

We were fifty yards from the base. I wondered if Alexis was still out here.

"Are you going to chew me out like everyone else?" I growled.

Scavenger folded his arms and replied, "You know what assuming does, Starscream."

"Save your breath."

As I tried to shoulder by him, he caught me, pushing me back.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Can it, Scavenger! I'm tired of hearing everyone telling me what to do all the time!"

I gasped a breath out as he clocked me in the jaw, but not hard enough to do any real damage.

"You're way out of line, you know that? All we're trying to do is help you!" His temper was starting to flare, oh joy.

"Scavenger, I think that's enough."

We looked over to see Optimus Prime standing a distance away, silohuetted against the midday sun.

I scowled. He was the ABSOLUTE LAST mech I wanted to see.

Either not noticing or just ignoring me, Scavenger slowly nodded and walked away.

"Starscream, will you come here, please?" he asked gently, which made me feel even more angry.

I knew he was ticked at me, but instead he sounded like a parent comforting its sparkling.

I almost would have rather had Megatron slam my head into a wall and give me a nasty concussion. Just almost, though.

I was about to transform and take off as a jet again, but then I realized that if I did, Scavenger or Hoist would drag me back again. Whichever one of the humans who first said, "Life is crap," is a genius in the making.

Reluctantly, I strode up to Prime, my optics flicking around to see if Alexis would be witnessing my judgment being passed.

All I saw were desert shrubs, bushes, and rocks. I didn't know whether to feel happy or unhappy about that.

When I was about five yards from him, he said, "Thank you."

I rolled my optics. Oh, for Primus's sake! He sounded like a socially-challenged youngling thanking someone normal for giving him the time of day!

"Okay, Prime, out with it. Am I going to be an outcast or a prisoner?"

"What?" He sounded surprised.

I sighed in frusturation. "I'm not a fool."

"Starscream, if you think like that, you might as well be!"

Well, Red Alert wasn't the only one who could go from pleasant to angry in a snap. I actually expected more of a challenge from the leader of the Autobots, though. He always seemed patient with all of us, except for a couple times.

"I'm not being foolish! I'm just being realistic!"

I probably would have seen a smile on that stupid truck's face if he didn't have that face plate on.

"I wasn't going to exile you. No one deserves to die like that."

"Megatron does." I mumbled under my breath.

"Instead, you're going to stay here."

"I can't believe you!" I yelled.

Surprise flashed across his face again; wow, twice in a row.

"You can't keep traitors around! They'll just try to stirke again, and sooner or later, they'll do something even more drastic!"

Experience had taught me that.

XXXXXX

My friend, Skyfire, had left the Decepticons and joined the Autobots back on Cybertron a few thousand years back. I'll always admire him for that. We were younger back then, and Megatron was probably the biggest terror we would ever face.

Skyfire didn't let Megatron bring him down. He always tried to get out after he saw how sadistic that beast's nature really was. He always received a punishment after he was caught, and they would just get nastier and nastier each time.

Then, during a battle, a large enoguh one to lose a comrade in easily, he just disappeared. I spent time flying around afterward, looking for him, until my tyrannical leader forced me out of the sky, and lectured me about how pathetic it was to go after a lost cause like Skyfire, complete with a punch to the face at the end.

Lost cause my aft! He was the only friend I really had had on the Decepticons, and along with that, he was smart, very smart.

The few days that went by after that battle were hard. No one else seemed worried about him. In fact, they were glad he was gone. It was extremely difficult to keep myself from tearing every mech and femme within reaching distance apart with my wingsword, I was that mad.

Then came our next battle, smaller than the last one, but dark, since it was held under a bridge.

I had knocked an enemy mech down and was about to let out all the anger I had kept inside on him, when a force slammed me into support pillar, and right in front of my face was Skyfire, wearing Autobot insignias.

Both of us were so surprised to see each other like that, we just stood there until a scream came.

The mech I'd grounded was in serious pain, and the shadow looming behind Skyfire was a dead giveaway as to who was causing it.

I only had time to yell my friend's name as a purple clawed hand clamped around his neck.

Megatron knocked me to the ground with his other hand, and put his foot on me to hold me down.

All I could do was stare up helplessly as the monster broke my friend's neck and dropped him on the ground next to me, dead. He laughed nastily, saying this would be a lesson to me.

I didn't listen to him, only heard. I could only focus on watching the energon gush out of Skyfire's neck like a river...

XXXXXX

Priime's voice broke me out of my flashback. "That's true Starscream, but traitors do that if they failed, but still wanted to betray others. You chose not to betray us."

I sighed in frusturation.

"You're going to stay with us, but you can't leave the base until further notice."

"That's what I thought. You're making me your prisoner!" I accused, pointing a finger at him.

"No, I'm making sure you have the necessities to live comfortably. Starscream, you're a cause of concern for myself, the other Autobots, the kids, the Mini-Cons, and yourself."

Silence came between us. Snarky comments would have just made it worse, and Prime wasn't going to change his mind, hard-headed mech that he was.

His next comment surprised me. "I'm proud of you, though. You made the right choice to protect the Star Saber and the Skyboom Shield from the Decepticons."

Then he saluted, transformed into a truck, and drove off, leaving me confused and somewhat ticked off.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been very painful to write this chapter. I don't own Transformers.

"Day one of my captivity." I mumbled as I entered the base.

"That bad, huh?" Swindle beeped. He'd finished racing around and was now driving in beside me.

"How much did you see of that?"

"Enough." he replied, transforming and climbing up on my shoulder again.

"I should knock you off for not backing me up earlier."

"What was I supposed to do? You know he wouldn't listen to me!" Swindle replied indignantly.

I sighed. He was right.

"Hey, Starscream!" came a yell.

Looking around, I didn't see anyone until my partner got my attention and pointed down.

Oh joy, one of the pesky male humans.

"What do you want?" I asked, stepping over him and beginning to walk somewhere. Where exactly, I didn't care, as long as I could be left alone.

"You've been a huge jerk! The least you could do is apologize!" Rad called after me, then ran to keep up.

"If you're expecting me to automatically apologize like some goody-goody, forget it."

"I'm not as stupid as you think I am! I'm just telling you to apologize to her!"

That got my attention. I turned to look at him, well, more like down at him.

He stood defiantly, his fists clenched so hard at his sides, they were white. His teeth were gritted together, his eyes gleaming.

"You saw her crying. I know you did! She was really hurt by you, and all you care about is yourself!"

Truth to be told, I didn't think the kid was that bad. He meant well. But accusing me of being selfish irked me to no end.

I wanted to talk to Alexis, I really did, but everything felt so wrong inside of me.

My betrayal, Prime, Skyfire, Megatron, Alexis, me... It felt like there were rocks bouncing around inside my head. Gee, wonder if they were from Mars?

The only thing that was clear was I had to suck it up and comfort her. If I didn't, he would, and I didn't want that to happen. I couldn't figure out exactly why, but it just felt like something inside of me was pulling me to do that. I wondered for a brief moment if I should be worried about that or not.

"I'll go talk to her," I replied with a firm voice, "Where is she?"

Rad looked a little surprised at me for saying that, then told me, "The human rec room. We've been trying to get her to play with us."

"Don't you glare at me! You play stupid games anyway! It's no wonder Alexis won't join you!"

He stared in shock at my retort, then scowled and walked away.

"Way to go, Screamer. You get a point for antagonism." Swindle commented sarcastically.

"Do you mind keeping quiet?"

"If you quit doing Megatron proud."

XXXXXX

Upon entering the rec room, I unfortunately found the other boys inside.

Billy and Carlos were playing some game using small handheld controllers hooked up to a large screen. Fred was plopped on the couch, watching and munching on human food in a bag, of course.

The Mini-Cons were lounging around the room. Swindle climbed down off of my shoulder to join them.

As mad as I was that he was abandoing me, I was also glad that he was still accepted, unlike me.

"Come on, Alexis! I need victims!" Billy yelled as he and Carlos continued.

"No thanks." It came out as a sigh.

Alexis was sitting on the far side of the couch, her right leg dangling over its arm, her left on the floor. Her right elbow was on the leg of the same side, and her chin rested on the palm of her hand. Her eyes were partially covered by her hair. I guess she was more interested in the right wall than in the game in front of her.  
Sureshock, unlike the other Mini-Cons, was coaxing her to play the game, but kept getting waved away by her.

I had a deja vu right then about the kids trying to get me to have fun, but I kept turning them down. Why was she acting like me? That wasn't her at all!

"Alexis?"

Her head jerked up at my voice. Carlos and Billy yelped, turning away from the screen. Fred's bag exploded in his hands. What? Was I that unpredictable?

"What do you want?" Carlos asked in a not-nice tone.

Ignoring him since he didn't have any importance here, I asked, "Can I talk to you somewhere private?"

After a moment, she nodded, getting up. "Come on, Sureshock."

"Alexis, you're not seriously going with him, are you?"

"I'll be back in a minute."

She sounded so strange. Flat. Wasn't she being emotional earlier?

I really didn't want to go outside, and I don't think she wanted to, either, so after picking up Swindle, we headed to my room.

Along the way, ran into Hotshot.

As I was begging Primus for an answer as to why I'm always so tortured, he asked Alexis, not me, "Are you okay?"

She shrugged. "I'll be fine. He's with me."

That wasn't an answer, but it sounded like she was done anyway.

Giving me a look, he walked away, glancing back over his shoulder at her.

XXXXXX

The rest of the walk to my quarters was quiet and long, neither of us really wanting to talk. Sureshock and Swindle also stayed quiet, getting the hint.

Finally, we were inside. I closed the door behind us and offered my hand.  
Alexis hesitated a moment, probably wondering what I was up to, then climbed up with her Mini-Con.

I slowly lifted and set them on a table next to my recharge berth, then went and sat on it so we were somewhat level.

She looked at me, her arms at her sides, her face unreadable as she waited for me to speak.

Finally, after battling with my pride, I sighed, "Alexis, I'm sorry."

"You should be!" she snapped, scowling, her hands resting on her hips.

"Don't you think I've realized that by now?" I snapped back.

Already we were mad at each other. But still, I think I'd realized by then how big betrayal is. Couldn't I just apologize and get on with my life? Oh wait, life never worked that way for me.

"No, you haven't! You didn't know how we all felt! How I felt!" Her voice was getting louder.

"I did! I saw you!"

"Seeing isn't knowing! What possessed you to do that?!"

I rolled my optics. "Gee, isn't it obvious?"

"Newsflash! There's more to life than just killing someone!"

"Imagine being abused all your life!"

"Imagine making a friend and having them show you they think you're a piece of CRAP!" Her voice cracked on the last word, and her chest was now heaving.

Swindle and Sureshock were both beeping for us to stop, but we couldn't care less.

True to my name, I screamed back at her, "Yes I have, you tiny, pathetic maggot of a little blob of flesh and innards!!!!"

Then I realized too late that I had gone too far.

Alexis's position shfted to a very stiff posture, her eyes downcast. "Is that what you think of me as?" she whispered.

"No, I-"

I barely caught the object that was thrown at me: her Mars rock.

"Alexis-"

"Starscream, stop."

The four of us looked up to see Optimus Prime. Could he quit popping up where I didn't want him to?

I snuck a glance at her. Tears were trailing down her cheeks. I'd made her cry again! What was wrong with me?!

"I heard you two yelling from down the hallway." Yeah, mostly me. I could bet both my wings on that.

He looked VERY unhappy with me, and I couldn't blame him, but I also couldn't be angry. He sure wasn't proud of me anymore.

Prime laid his hand, palm up, on the table, and Alexis practically ran onto it, her partner trailing close behind.

"Starscream, I'm beyond disappointed in you. I can't believe you'd do this."

I started to defend myself, but the look he gave me shut me up.

Turning his back on me, he told her he would take her home, then left without another word.

I punched the berth I was sitting on in frusturation, and Swindle sighed. Staring at the Mars rock, I asked out loud, "Could things possibly get any worse now?"


	6. Chapter 6

Starscream starts having weird dreams in this chapter. Their meaning won't be revealed until much later on in the fic, and its sequel. I don't own Transformers.

I frowned at my reflection in my wingsword as I cleaned it. The Star Saber was safely in the Autobots' posession, much to my dislike. It had been a while since Alexis had left, and I had let my partner go where his spark desired. It wouldn't be fun for him to watch my brooding.

Don't you giving me that mental lecture, by the way! So I brooded, big deal! Every Decepticon did at some point! Besides, I wasn't exactly "pleasureable company" to the others, anyway.

XXXXXX

Thundercracker probably would have given me a cube of high-grade energon to forget the girl with. Sometimes I wished I could see him again, but not nearly as much as Skyfire.

TC resembled me pretty well, except he was blue. Our sparks had been released into our bodies around the same time. I can't remember who was older, but I always will remember how he acted.

What can I say? He was bigger and taller than me. (He never let me live that down)

Troops were always needed for the war, and we somehow managed to get stuck with the Decepticons. (I'd heard rumors later that Megatron was snatching sparklings)

Even when were sparklings, we had to fight to survive. Thundercracker tried to handle most of the fights, but I'd always be the one shouldering him aside and taking them on myself.

Yeah, sounds wonderful, doesn't it, two sparklings running/flying around, fighting and winning their own little battles? Here's the truth: It wasn't by any accounts.  
Most of the fights were with other sparklings, but others were with adults, and those were always more dangerous.

At one point, we'd had to fly away from Autobot mech that was trying to grab us (probably trying to save us, now that I think about it), and we happened to fly over the body of another Autobot who had been killed recently, energon leaking from every which place with pulled wire and smashed armor plating floating in it.  
Thundercracker laughed, but I felt sick. When I told him that, he'd simply said, "Screamer, I think there's something wrong with your spark."

That's exactly why I never can consider him a friend. And as he got older, he only got worse.

Luckily, I was done dealing with him as soon as we became younglings and were officially enlisted as soldiers, since he got put with Soundwave, and I was stuck with Megatron. I hate how luck is always double-edged with me.

Well, at least he wasn't as bad as Skywarp. I couldn't tell exactly how old the purple mech was, and didn't really care, anyway, since I really didn't want to get to know him that well. Sometimes I wonder if he was as crazy as Cyclonus. No, wait, on second thought, that's impossible.

As far as I knew at that point, 'Warp was serving under Soundwave back on Cybertron with Thundercracker. I couldn't really say if I was unhappy about that or not, though, since TC wasn't really a friend.

Skywarp often came up with nasty ideas to play tricks on the Autobots with. I was surprised Megatron didn't want him. One time, he teleported behind an Autobot, grabbed him, smashed his visor, leaving him completely blind, and started beating the crap out of him. I'd cut off a hand before, but still, that's low.

XXXXXX

I wondered that if I ever went back to Cybertron, would I see them again? In this war, it was here-today-gone-tomorrow, so I couldn't be sure.

As soon as I had asked that question, my head started throbbing fast, and hard.

It felt like Scavenger had given me a nasty punch in the back of the head.

My sword clattered to the floor, and I clamped my hands to the sides of my head, breathing hard, willing it to go away.

"Primus...My head...Feels...Like it's gonna split..." I wheezed, doubling over as the pain got worse. It now felt like my head was being pressed between two blocks of metal.

A scream built up in my throat, and I released it as I fell to the floor, narrowly missing hitting my weapon.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Then, as I got completely overwhelmed by the pain, I saw darkness begin to enter my vision and I completely blacked out, curled in a ball, still clutching my head in agony.

XXXXXX

"Huh? Where am I?"

The air felt cold around me, and metal was scraping my sides.

The pain in my head was gone, and I felt that I was able to push myself up. Both of my wings were attached to my body.

It was hard to see from where I was in the dark shadows of the clustered buildings, but I immediately knew where I was: my home world, Cybertron.

Was it always this dark? No, but its light was diminishing. Don't pity me; it's something I've had to learn to accept.

A piercing scream made me jump, but also helped me calm down a little. Up until then, it had been quiet, but normally the sounds of war could have been heard day or night.

Immediately, I pulled my sword out and looked around for the screamer or who could have caused her to.

For all of the humans that watch human horror movies about girls getting attacked by monsters, you have no idea what it's like to actually be in one. Sorry, but virtual reality doesn't count.

Finding no one nearby, I started to creep toward where I'd thought the sound had come from.

"You're pathetic!" It was a mech this time, one that I'd never heard before.

Now knowing where I had to go, I broke into a run, skidding into an alley.

A feminine shadowy figure was against the wall, one hand clutching a wound, the other in a fist.

The mech's figure was upright, that's all I could tell, since he was in shadow.

Both turned to look at me.

"What's this little lost sparkling doing here? Shouldn't you be home with your mommy?" the mech laughed.

I gritted my teeth. Sparkling?! He didn't sound very much older than me!

Leaping forward, I slashed at him with my sword, but instead hit air.

Lightning shot through my free arm as the mech twisted it behind my back. With a laugh, he spun me into the femme, knocking us both to the ground.

"Come on, get up!" I yelled at her.

Suddenly, the shadows seemed to explode all around me, and everything was lost from my vision again.

XXXXXX

"I think he's waking up."

Groaning, I put a hand on the back of my head. It felt like I was having a hangover from drinking a lot of high-grade energon.

On my left stood Red Alert, and on my right, Optimus.

"That's good. When Scavenger and I saw him, I thought he'd be out for much longer."

Okay, he was sounding worried, why?

I felt my mind click suddenly, and I let out a yelp, "Wait, is she okay?!"

"Who, Alexis?"

I shook my head fast.

"Easy, Starscream." Red Alert cautioned.

"Not Alexis, the femme back on Cybertron!"

The two exchanged a worried glance. Did I miss something?

"Starscream," Prime began slowly, "We don't know what you're talking about."


	7. Chapter 7

After 6 chapters of tension and unhappiness, I'm finally including a nice part! I don't own Transformers.

I still wonder if Prime actually was contemplating whether I had lost my mind or not. I'd come to the Autobots after being beaten and abused both physically and mentally, then I betray them and make slag of myself, and now I was babbling about something I saw in my head while I was having a nasty headache. That was enough to call anyone insane.

After he and Red exchanged a glance, he asked me, "How's your head?"

"Wait, I go spouting off absolute nonsense to you, and you ask me about an injury like it's nothing? What's with you?"

He sure had a habit of getting me confused and ticked off. I was starting to wonder which leader had a worse negative influence on me, even though Megatron still had a large number of points. Yay.

"You're injured, aren't you?" Red Alert asked, walking over to a computer and beginning to type.

"What're you typing?" I questioned. Oh, if it was an alert to other Autobots that they had a renegade psycho on hand they had to pick up, that would be it.

"I'm trying to make a file of your injury to keep on hand." he replied matter-of-factly.

And I thought I was crazy. The two idiots were just brushing what I said off. I know it made no sense, but still, I had screamed my head off, passed out, and then talked about a bizarre, yet realistic dream I had had. Wouldn't that be a cause for concern?

Looking up, he said, "I need some help, you know. I'm not psychic like Soundwave."

Truth to be told, I didn't feel any pain anymore; my head felt fine. No big deal. It was probably just...Okay, I never had had this before, so I really had no idea. The only headaches I had were from Megatron beating my head, and no, I wasn't, nor will I ever be, one of those high-strung stress pots, either. I at least know enough to take out my stress on something.

I shook my head. "I'm fine now."

"And you're not just saying that to get out of here?" Optimus spoke up, folding his arms and leaning against a wall.

I gave him a look, and he replied evenly, "Starscream, we all know how proud and stubborn you are. I wouldn't put it past you for a minute to do that."

I sighed in frusturation. "Well, this time I really am fine, okay?"

He didn't move.

Gritting my teeth, I sprang up on the berth. "For Primus's sake! Do you want me to slam my head through a slagging wall to show I'm okay?!"

I was actually half ready to do it when he straightened back up and told me, "That won't be necessary. Now, please sit down before you crush it."

No, Prime wasn't insulting me. Even now I sometimes break things without meaning to. Yeah, I know, I'm graceful in the air, but on land? That can be another story.

I plopped back down and was asked, "Did this ever happen to you before?"

"If you count my head throbbing from being knocked around."

As I heard him type, I looked over at the medic. Well, it was worth a shot. "Any idea what's wrong with me?"

He smirked at me actually letting down my pride to ask someone else for help, then turned back with a perplexed look. "Unfortunately, no. All of the cases I've seen have been linked to stress or injury."

"So you're saying I'm a freak?"

"I'm saying you have a different case." The irritation was clear in his voice.

Whatever. He wasn't the one with this head problem, now was he?

"Will it happen again?" Prime asked.

I glared at him. "What? You want me to pass out again?"

He actually returned my glare this time. "No. I just want to make sure you'll be all right."

"I can't say for sure. I could measure his mind's waves, but that would be far too risky. If the headache happens again while I'm doing it, his mind could suffer serious damage."

This was getting me nowhere fast. I growled, "Well, just great. One more thing I have to deal with while I'm stuck here."

A siren went off in the base. "Wonderful."

"Starscream, you are to stay here until we return!" Prime ordered as he and the doc ran out.

"I don't have to listen to you, you know!" I yelled after him. After all, I wasn't an Autobot.

XXXXXX

It was official. I hated that truck with a passion.

Currently, I was cradling my hand from where I had tried to bust the door to the outside of the base open to leave. Not only was the warp gate deactivated and the door locked with a code, but the door was also HARD.

"Quit staring at me!" I yelled at the Mini-Cons near my feet. They quickly ran away. I had just made a fool of myself in front of pint-sized transformers. Oh, fun.

There was no one in the base except for the Mini-Cons and me, which meant I could go mess up some of the stuff around here, but I would probably get my aft in even bigger trouble if I did.

"Okay, I'm bored. What can I do?" I mumbled to myself. I was really in no mood to work on that stupid shuttle in the base, and Swindle had once again left me. I felt a pang of sadness. We used to always be together when I was still a Decepticon, but then again, that was because the other Mini-Cons there were nasty. I guessed even good things had consequences.

Seeing that there was nothing really entertaining, I walked over to watch the Autobots try to win the Mini-Con this time around.

The battle was on what the humans called a beach, sand flying in every which direction.

A flash caught my eye, and I glanced over to see Thrust fall into the ocean, courtesy of Jetfire, screaming his annoying weird head off.

I started to laugh when I heard, "Do you mind? I'm trying to study!"

Surprised, I turned to see Alexis sitting on the floor some yards away from me, a book open in her lap. Her jade eyes, now agitated, weren't the only green spot I saw, but before I could figure out what the other spot was, she had turned the book up to hide it.

"Why aren't you out there with them?" I asked.

"I told you, I need to study." She looked back down at the book meaningfully.

"You're telling me you'd much rather sit here while your friends are out there having all the fun?"

"If it's for a grade, yeah. Besides, I have to be back here in case anything happens."

This was getting more and more comical.

"Oh, really? Then tell me, if all of the other kids are out there, why would they need you back here?"

"You know, I could ask you the same thing." Her eyes were back on me, and I couldn't help but chuckle at how silly she looked.

"Well?" Alexis pressed.

"You've got me there, I'll admit, but you didn't answer my question."

"Who said I had to?"

"Who said I wouldn't have liked you to?"

Her eyes took on a surprised glance, and I added, "I never said I didn't care about you."

"Yeah, but you showed it." She looked back down at the book, her eyes moving back and forth furiously as she tried to get into it.

"Well, if you need any help, I've got Thrust to show you how gravity works." I tapped the screen for emphasis.

As I turned back, I thought I heard a little giggle.


	8. Chapter 8

Things get serious again. I don't own Transformers.

All who say that time blows by like the wind can kiss my aft.

Alexis didn't say anything else while she studied, but I heard the book snap shut, and her footsteps as she moved to stand a small distance away from me, watching the battle and cheering for her friends.

I felt a pang of sadness as I listened to her, wishing I could be out there too, being cheered for by her.

I snuck a glance down at her, curious as to what that other jade glow I'd seen earlier was, but all I saw was her dull, closed book in her hand.

The battle was becoming annoying to watch, since so much sand flying around made it hard to see.

It reminded me of that one battle in the desert, where Demolishor stumbled on his own Mini-Con. That stupid mech just HAD to have fallen into a sinkhole and make Megatron freak out.

Primus, that bumbling idiot could have had his head jammed into freshly poured concrete and not have the good sense to take it out, and Megatron would just say that he was stupid and walk away without laying down a hit! What, had he thought Demolishor would be his successor? Pfft!

I was all too willing to try to make that a reality ever since that tyrant first beat me down.

Then, something completely comical and stupid happened.

The idiot that I was mentally abusing somehow managed to trip and unearth the dormant Mini-Con, and an all-too-willing Hot Shot scooped it up with a thank-you.

I'm longer a Decepticon, but sheesh! That was ridiculous! And what made it worse was that one of the mechs I really hated once again had grabbed a Mini-Con.

For once, I felt like seeing how far Alexis would fly across the room when she praised him.

XXXXXX

"I got an A!"

Alexis waved a little white piece of paper around like a flag as I saw her roll in with the other boys the next day, her eyes shining.

Okay, happy as I was for her, giant-robot-cut-off-from-learning-human-culture had no idea what getting an A meant. Did human kids just take a test, do good, and get a scribble in the shape of a letter for doing good on it? Wow, what an achievement.

Judging from how the boys looked, I knew right away that they didn't do that well.

Sighing, Rad said, "Next time, I'm studying with you."

I felt something twinge inside of me, and started to get up to leave, but heard, "Oh, sure, rain on her parade, Starscream."

I gritted my teeth. Oh, wonderful, Hot Shot.

"Here's an idea: Don't provoke your enemies while you have an overjoyed friend in your prescence." I retorted.

He rolled his optics. "I could say the same for you."

I could tell by now that some of the other Autobots had also come over to Alexis, but I wasn't done. "You know what I don't get? You always antagonize me!"

"No I don't! You antagonize me!"

He SURE had a way with words. All he was doing was copying what I was saying.

"That's only because you don't accept me!"

"You're right, I don't. Why should I?" Dismissing the whole conversation, as well as me with a wave of his hand, that annoyingly yellow car walked over to the others like it was no big deal.

"Thanks for the honesty," I growled, then turned to Alexis, who I knew must have heard, although her back was to me, "Congrats."

I left without being stopped this time, feeling anger burn inside of me. Who was I kidding? I would never be accepted.

XXXXXX

The next two days were so boring, I thought I was inside the base for years instead of days.

By then I was antsy, knowing that if I didn't do some form of work soon, I was going to get it, outcast or not.

Even though I hated to do it, I set to work on the shuttle the Autobots were builiding, but chose a more secluded area to work on, around the rear end. I knew they would hear me anyway, since when I set parts of the armor plating on, I took out my pent-up rage on the bolts holding them in by pounding as hard as I could without breaking them.

Pointless as I thought the work was, at least it would keep me from going crazy.  
I just couldn't grasp why we were working on this to return to the tattered war land that was now Cybertron while we could just saw Megatron's head off and be done with it, but then again this was the wise Optimus Prime calling the shots here, not psycho Screamer brooding in the corner.

I didn't really know much about the internal sciences of the ship, save for how to pilot it, but the outside was a different story, Toss me out to find the teeny-tiniest piece of metal that has been scraped free and in turn fallen into the engine, screwing our flight up, I'd find it. And yes, I've had to do that before.

XXXXXX

Never would Swindle in his entire existence completely abandon me. He always came into my quarters at the end of the day to talk. It's not that I didn't want to talk with him anymore, but everything just felt like the same thing over and over, since I was now trapped in a perpetual rut. Though he didn't say anything, I knew that he felt bad for me. Take it from both of us, watching your friend suffer and not being able to do a thing about it feels like slag.

The night after my third day of work, he had some surprising news to tell me, "I overheard Alexis and Sureshock talking."

"What about?" I asked, immediately interested.

"I don't really know for sure, since I just happened to walk in them, but it seemed to be about someone, and something he or she had given her."

"Can you be a little more specific?" I pressed a little, reaching out my hand and letting him settle on it.

"I hid behind a doorway, since it sounded private in a way, so I couldn't see any telltale hand gestures, but I heard a lot. She was saying that she'd kept it for a while, but always thought of throwing it out, until now, but didn't know what to do with it. Sureshock asked why she still kept it, and she simply said she didn't know why, but something told her it would be important later on. I can't really understand human intuition, anyway," Swindle stopped, shrugging, "That's all I heard because they got called over by the boys."

Questions were knocking around inside my head, but I shoved them away. "Thanks for listening, Swindle, but I don't think you should again."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Alexis is my problem, not yours. I don't want you to get caught and be in trouble because of me."

"Come on, Screamer! What's a little fun between friends going to hurt? Besides, it's all I can do to help you."

"I wonder if I'm beyond help." I mumbled too quietly for him to hear, my optics narrowing.

XXXXXX

"Starscream, may I speak with you?"

"What did I do now?" I said to myself.

I'd taken a break from working to watch another battle. Once again, the Autobots had won, and I'd grown very agitated that I wasn't out there with them because everyone that was able to, save for the Star Saber and Skyboom Shield Mini-Cons, had gone.

It was good that Alexis had not stayed behind this time, though, since she had actually been able to find the Mini-Con lodged between some rocks.

After all of these wins, I was beginning to wonder how much room we had left.

"Yes, Optimus?" I managed to ask politely as I turned around.

To my surprise, he actually looked happy to speak with me.

"You've been working hard, and I've thought that maybe I can let up on you a little."

"You'd better not be kidding." I couldn't help but say.

"About this stuff? No. About Cyclonus leaping up about 100 feet in the air, screaming, when he landed on a pine tree on his backside? Yes. You're free to fly around again outside, but not too far."

I couldn't help but smile a little. "Thanks."

"You earned it. Just keep it." He replied, most likely smiling back under his faceplate, walking away.

XXXXXX

It was beautiful outside, I had to say. The sky looked like it was made of fire while the sun was setting. Maybe Earth wasn't all that bad.

Sighing with relief, I transformed into my jet mode and took off, actually enjoying my freedom of flight, however limited, this time.

After a few minutes, I saw a shadow with a little dust cloud moving along behind it and flew lower to see that it was Alexis, currently riding Sureshock, on her way home. Maybe I could surprise her?

But then I saw another shadow, much bigger with a huge cloud behind it, coming along a distant dirt road from the left, heading toward where she was speeding off to.

I didn't even bother to try to call Swindle or the others for help as I threw my jet boosters into full power; there wasn't time, not when Megatron was on the loose.


	9. Chapter 9

I don't own Transformers.

I'm always going to be proud of the fact that I'm fast.

The shadow of Alexis became a solid figure in seconds, and said figure was currently jerking her head to look up at where the noise was coming from.

"Starscream?" she asked, her eyes widening.

Yeah, I was flying. Big deal.

Since there was no time to make a catty remark, I yelled, "GET BACK TO THE BASE NOW!"

Fear clouded her eyes as I screamed at her.

"You heard me, MOVE!" I ordered.

Shaking her head to compose herself, Alexis turned Sureshock around.

"It's him, isn't it?" she called to me.

"What do you think? Now get back there before I throw you myself!"

I wasn't mad, just very worried. If anything happened to her...

"Starscream, don't!" she yelled.

"Sorry Alexis, but I have to!"

Spinning around in the air, I flew off toward the imposing tank, which had now stopped. Figured.

"GET BACK HERE YOU IDIOT!!" I heard her shriek after me, her voice three octaves higher than normal.

Well, at least she was around to be mad at me. I actually hoped I would be able to return and get chewed out by her.

XXXXXX

The sunset cast blood red rays on Megatron as I drew close to him, showing what a killing machine he truly was. Still, he hadn't moved. What was he waiting for? Normally, he'd have wrung my neck out at this point.

Deciding not to waste my chance, I transformed, flipped through the air, and landed on the tank's roof just a split second before he transformed.

I was thrown to the hard earth by one of his massive hands, my back slamming against it.

I did a scissor kick upwards to stand.

Smirking, I asked, "So, did ya miss me?"

The creep let out a sigh. "As always, Screamer, you're taking away my fun. That little fleshling and her Mini-Con looked quite the stress reliever."

His body jerked backward to avoid a punch by me. "Don't you DARE call her that!"

"What's the matter," he paused to chuckle, "Are you trying to protect your pet?"

"PET?!" I leapt toward him, lashing out my leg to kick him, but was caught, spun in the air, and thrown down again.

"You've grown soft, Screamer."

"And you've grown stupid."

He let out a cry as I punched upward, hitting him in the groin.

I took advantage of him doubling back by rolling to the side and springing up.

I hadn't been badly injured physically yet, but it was a blow to my pride that I'd taken the first hit.

Reaching my left arm over, I unsheathed my wingsword. Its crimson glow reflected my mood, along with the rest of the area's color.

"Why did you go after Alexis?" I questioned, stepping sideways, trying to circle him.

"Are you incapable of any memory? I told you."

Immediately, I had a flashback to when I was still a Decepticon, and we had kidnapped the kids to make the Autobots surrender the Mini-Cons. I couldn't believe I actually thought it was funny to watch Megatron electrocute Alexis and the others.

"YOU FREAK!" I shrieked, running at him, my sword pointed straight ahead of me.

His fist shot out, and I slid sideways, my momentum carrying me behind him. Grabbing the back of his shoulder as I went, I pulled the both of us down.

As I tried to jump on him to get the upper hand, something caught my foot, and I fell, immediately seeing what it was.

I somehow had managed to get my leg wrapped around his fusion cannon.

The next second, Megatron had flipped me to the side to uncoil me. I kept my grip firm on my blade, which I brandished in front of my face to protect it with, rage burning in my optics, equalled by his.

"Stay away from us." I growled.

"Even now, you try to call the shots, little Seeker."

I was short compared to him, but that was just demeaning, and he had used it often in the past to annoy and taunt me to no end.

Lashing out my arm to slash at him, I hurled whatever insult I could think of at him.

Unfortunately, I forgot what position I was in: on the ground, on the defensive, and with a cannon pointed directly at me.

A sharp white light engulfed the red, and the sword splintered to pieces that fell into me.

I cried out as waves of fiery pain spread through my system that soon turned to a raging inferno as Megatron blasted me square in the chest, then hit me again as I flew through the air.

Landing on the ground, I let out a low groan. It was now dark, as if adding to the fact that the fight was now over, and I had once again lost.

I thought I heard the whirring of an engine off in the distance, but had no time to check as I was jerked up.

"Let me tell you a little secret, Screamer. I know about you and the girl." Megatron hissed, then reached toward me with his other hand, as he continued, "It could have been easy just to let her die, but instead you had to be a hero."

I cried out as he jammed the sword pieces in further, then attacked my armor, slicing it to pieces that fell to the ground. I was completely helpless, my pain engulfing me, my energon coming out in waterfalls.

"But you should know better. Heroes don't live."

I let out an elongated scream as he tore at the cables inside of me, slicing them apart. Millions of volts of electrical overload from the released energy shot through me, shaking me back, forth, side-to-side, and every other direction I could think of.

Then, a pain even stronger than that came last as Megatron plunged his retractable knife into my spark chamber.

"Just ask your mother when you get to the Pit." he whispered sinisterly, letting go of me, to warp out, pieces of my spark falling and vanishing in thin air.

Energon poured from me, soaking the ground, making its own little sea. So much energon...I wasn't going to make it. I knew that for sure.

"STARSCREAM!!!!!!!!"

I barely felt a small hand on me and heard sobbing.

"Alexis...I told you...Go..." I croaked weakly.

Green light suddenly illuminated the scene of my death for a brief second, and then I fell out of consciousness.


	10. Chapter 10

A bit of twist here! I'm trying to reverse the traditional "Alexis becomes a transformer" plot device. I don't own Transformers.

I had always wondered what finally being dead felt like, since I'd brushed with death often in the past.

Right then, it felt like nothing.

I was surrounded by darkness, not even able to see myself within it.

Strangely enough, I felt...numb. No pain shot through my body, though I was well aware of my wounds being there. Would I always be crippled like this? I understood all too well that I wasn't the absolute nicest transformer in existence, but come on, I deserved a little more than this!

The emptiness crushed me like a tin can. I didn't know exactly how long I'd been there, but it had taken a short time for me to feel like this.

Physically, I was fine, but mentally, I felt like I was falling apart.

Was this the Pit? It seemed like it, but Megatron needed to be in this place, not me!

As I opened my mouth to vent out how mad and confused I was, a weird, and I mean, WEIRD thing happened.

Skyfire appeared in front of me.

The big jet was transparent, his blue and red colors faded, almost completely matching the white on him, while his light blue optics shone sharply instead. There was a dent encircling his neck, a chilling reminder of how he died.

"Skyfire, wha-"

He raised a hand to stop me, and smiled reassuringly, beckoning me to follow him, then turned and floated away.

Great, I was going to follow a ghost, and for those who don't believe in ghosts (I'm not stupid) I was going to follow a delusion. I was really getting the feeling that I needed my mind checked. First headaches, now this.

As I followed, or rather, floated, after him, I still couldn't see my own body. I was really concerned by now, but that was just the opening show of my psycho circus.

Another ghost appeared out of thin air (okay, darkness) as I followed him, and I stopped dead.

"Thundercracker?!" I gasped. There was a gaping hole in his now light blue stomach.

He glared sharply at me, his red optics shining like pointed rubies, and whispered sinisterly, "Well, if it isn't little Screamer, off having fun down on Earth while I get this. Isn't life just grand?" Sarcasm oozed off of his words.

"What happened to you?" Out of the corner of my optic, I saw Skyfire still walking.

TC had to talk fast.

He rolled his optics. "What do you care? You'll get what's coming to you, you little freak!"

With a nasty laugh, he faded away.

Okay, creepy...I knew Skywarp had been a bad influence on him, and I was willing to bet he was the reason TC ended up like that.

Quickly, I took off after Skyfire, nearly catching up to him when I ran into a rather old ghost. It was a mech I stumbled upon as a sparkling while trying to find shelter for Thundercracker and myself. He had been nice, but old age caused him to ramble about how Cybertron was before our time, and about lessons in life. TC had hated him, but I had thought he was okay. After all, he'd let us stay, hadn't he?

"Kup? What're you doing here?" I asked.

He chuckled. "Well, I'm dead, aren't I?"

As we were flying away that next morning, I'd thought I'd heard a gun go off, and sure enough, I saw a bullet hole square in the middle of his neck.

Yeah, we'd shared a shelter with an Autobot. Thundercracker had always hated me for that, and probably always will.

"I know that, but why're you talking to me? I didn't know you that well."

"Just wanted to give you a little advice, son, so listen up," His blue optics glimmered with importance, "Whatever you do, don't let ANYTHING in life pass you by. You'll regret it, believe me."

"But how can I do that now? I'm dead!"

Smiling, he vanished, and I once again had to run after Skyfire. Couldn't the dead be, I don't know, a little straightforward?

Finally, I caught up to my friend, and as he turned, two other ghosts morphed in.

"It's been great to see ya, Starscream." he smiled broadly, then waved.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" What did he mean? Who were these two new ghosts? What was going on for the millionth time?!

XXXXXX

I sat bolt upright, gasping for breath. I felt not only like a crushed can, but a crushed can in a vice, squeezing VERY hard.

"Wh-where am I?" I gasped, then heard a sigh beside me, and turned.

Something dark and thick came into the corner of my optic, and I swatted it away with my hand, only to have it brush against my back and swing back around. Okay...

That's when I saw Alexis, laying against what I realized to be a bed I was sitting on, and felt something pound inside my chest with excitement.

Great, another bizarre oddity to add to my collection. I could've started my own museum.

Wait, why was she so big? Normally, I could hold her in my hand.

Hand. I had a bad feeling about this...

Glancing down, I saw two hands made of flesh with an Autobot insignia stamped on each.

I thought I wasn't part of the-WHAT?! FLESH?!

I did a double take and screamed.

She jolted awake, her eyes wide, then yelled my name and thrust her arms around me (which felt sort of weird, but kind of good too), crying and shaking.

Looking over her head, I realized I was in the Autobots' med bay, and a mirror on the floor registered what I thought I was.

I was a HUMAN.


	11. Chapter 11

Don't worry, Starscream's not a full human! I don't own Transformers.

Let me rephrase that. I was a human-robot hybrid.

I thanked Primus as I saw my wings, though smaller, were attached to my body, protruding out like they used to when I was a transformer. (I know, creepy to say that, huh?) Only they weren't blank; Autobot insignias were on each one. I wondered if I could still detatch my my wingsword.

A long mane of black hair that framed my pale face and trailed down to my waist explained why I had seen the dark spot in the corner of my eye. Speaking of which, their irises were bright orange. It felt strange to be seeing three colors in my eyes instead of just the usual one, but then again, what didn't feel strange?

Peeking just over the top of Alexis's head was the top of a yellow star on a red shirt I was wearing, drawn how humans draw it. How they got the idea that stars were pointed, I'll never know.

Looking down and then sideways, since I was sitting on my side still, I saw I was wearing jeans and combat boots.

I narrowed my eyes to get more details, mostly to see if I had any scars to worry about, but the mirror was frusturatingly far away, and my eyes weren't powerful enough to see more, 20/20 vision or not.

Sight wasn't the only sense new to me.

I'd often thought of Alexis as a sort of doll that I could hold in the palm of my hand, practically weightless and soft to me, but that had also changed. Up close like this she wasn't a little fleshing doll anymore. She was equal to me, but still a little shorter. Her arms around me felt warm and comforting, and I tensed a little, not used to be held like this, but slowly began to relax as I realized how good it felt. Her hair was softer than her skin and felt nice as it brushed up against me.

Yeah, it felt nice, but very, very strange to me. I may have been enjoying it on the outside, but inside I felt nervous, tense, as if I wasn't ready for this, and I really wasn't, not right after switching bodies. As sad as it was, and don't feel bad for me, I didn't understand this feeling too well at all. It felt strong, but scary at the same time, and that's what drove me back.

After a what seemed like an hour, she let go of me, blushing. "Sorry."

I got worried immediately because the red wasn't just on her cheeks; it was around her eyes, too. She'd been crying again. Ugh.

"No, it's okay. It's just, um..." I suddenly didn't know what to say. Awkward. My voice still sounded as raspy as it usually did, which came as a small comfort.

She smiled a little. "Guess I got a lot to tell you, huh?"

I smiled back. "You could say that."

She didn't have enough time to start speaking as we heard three sets of robotic footsteps, two small and fast, and one big and slow, oame toward us.

Swindle sped in first, Sureshock right on his heels, each Mini-Con basically pouncing on us, asking if we were okay.

"They're not going to be if you don't get off of them."

The four of us looked up, yes, up, to see Red Alert. He was a giant compared to me now, and I wondered how the kids could deal with huge transformers walking around all day without being afraid of getting stepped on.

"Sorry." Both Mini-Cons beeped, and sat down.

"Starscream, how are you feeling?" Red asked.

"Fine. I can't feel a thing," I knew him, so it was still easy to talk with him, "So, what happened to me?"

"Well, this did." Alexis held up a green rock on a chain to show me, the same rock I had seen on her book before. So I wasn't hallucinating!

"The Mars rock?"

"Yeah, I chipped off a piece to make a necklace," she smiled sadly, then continued, "And when I touched you..." Her voice trailed off, and her smile faded.

"My body changed," I finished, then asked, "How come my wings are still on? And how did I get into these clothes?"

"They appeared on your body. Good thing." I saw her blush out of the corner of her eye.

"It's because part of your spark is still inside of you, Starscream, and they're connected to your skeleton and run on energon alone. Both energon and blood flow through your circulatory system." Red explained, well, sort of.

"Circu-what?"I asked, confused.

"It's where your heart pumps blood to your body. Take that out and you're done."  
Alexis explained.

"Okay, but how come my blood doesn't clog where the energon should go?"

"Somehow, there're dividers in your wings that seperate the energon from the blood."

"I've just got to ask, did you dissect me or something?"

Red Alert chuckled. "No, not today, Starscream."

Still being formal. He never called me by my nickname.

"So what you're telling me is I'm a freak?"

"That's not true!" Alexis yelled, and I turned to see a kind of fire burning in her eyes as she continued,"If you were a freak, I wouldn't have carried you all the way back here on Sureshock, stayed all night, and called to lie to my dad about sleeping over at my friend's house to make sure you were okay!"

She was very upset. I felt like an idiot. She'd saved me from dying, and all I did was beat myself up about it.

Sighing, I took the rock from her and held it in the palm of my hand. It was badly cracked.

Looking up at Red, I asked, "Can I ever be the old me again?"

Alexis tensed and her expression changed to something I couldn't understand.

Red sighed. "I'm sorry, Starscream, but after what Megatron did to your spark, the shards left inside were too little and too small in quantity to support a transformer of your size. I'm afraid it can't be done."

I felt the rock slip out of my hand and land on the bed with a dull thud as I felt the warmth leave my body.

I was never going to be fully myself again.


	12. Chapter 12

A short chapter, but a good one! Starscream gets to fly! I don't own Transformers.

It felt like I was falling down a black hole, never hitting bottom.

I looked out at the landscape from the ridge I sat on as the sun came up, but didn't really see it.

It was like more than half of my soul had been stripped away. Even though I had these insignias on my hands and wings, which I still had no idea about, I was an outcast, not just to the Autobots and Decepticons, but to all transformers. I would never be able to kill Megatron and take my revenge. I would never feel the strength and power of my first body in this puny little fleshy one.

I felt Alexis's head fall on my shoulder. She'd been sitting next to me after I'd left med bay.

Swindle and Sureshock were laying a little further away from us, both in recharge. I couldn't blame any of them for being like this. It was my fault for keeping them up because they worried about me. I felt like I wanted to curl up and die.

But I also wanted to try something, and no one was going to stop me. I wanted to fly again. Maybe my wings still could work.

Even if they did, though, it wouldn't pull me right out of this. That would take time. At that moment, though, I wanted to experience the joy and freedom of flying with all of my spark, even though there wasn't much left of it.

It's funny how mcuh things are treasured when they're gone.

Gently, I pushed Alexis off of me.

She was moving.

Thinking fast, I ran to the edge of the ridge and jumped, not even taking time to collect my wits.

As I fell through the air, I thought I heard her scream behind me, but I couldn't be sure because the wind was rushing past my ears. Ugh, I hated being part human!

Closing my eyes, I let go of my human limbs and concentrated on just my wings.

"Come on, come on!" I growled. My wings tilted a little.

"Let's go!" They went higher, angling completely above my body. I was in the right position, but I was just too heavy.

"GO!" I shrieked, and suddenly I stopped falling.

Opening my eyes slowly, I saw that I was floating.

"YES!" I yelled, meaning to move my arm to punch the air, but found that I couldn't. It felt weak, like there was no muscle in it.

I tried my other one. Same thing.

I did a backward loop to celebrate instead, and flew back to the ridge to meet a very angry Alexis, a frenzied Swindle, and a worried Sureshock, all the while getting my hair blown in my face. THAT was really annoying.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Alexis yelled.

Smirking, I replied, "So what if I was?"

"You almost got killed some number of hours ago, and now you nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Not to mention me!" Swindle piped up hysterically.

My smirk fell. I'd put my partner through a lot, and Alexis, too. And, judging by how Sureshock looked like a concerned mother toward her, she'd been stressing over her partner being stressed.

Okay, to sum it up, we've got this: I was depressed, Alexis was flipping out, Swindle was about to go into a catatonic sate, and there were maternal instincts in Sureshock that were dormant until then. Did I miss something?

A glint big enough to catch my eye distracted me from Alexis, who was now ranting, and I looked down to see Hot Shot in car form. Oh, great.

"HEY! I'm talking to you!" she screamed to get my attention back.

Screaming more than talking. I was rubbing off on her, but I couldn't figure out if that was good or bad.

Suddenly, it felt like my head was going to split in two.

Everything went black as I fell off the ridge.


	13. Chapter 13

And the dreams continue. Relax, the femme's not a long-lost-love of Starscream, nor will she appear outside of the dream world. Same goes for the mech. However, they will play significant roles later on, and in the sequel. More so the sequel. I don't own Transformers.

I slowly came to.

It was dark, but objects could be seen in the little light, mostly busted up tools, weapons, and metal.

Everything seemed so much higher up for some reason, even though my feet were on the ground, and I felt so much strength, along with a load of hope.

Looking down at my hands to make sure I was right, I nearly leaped into the air for joy. I was a transformer again!

But still, where was I? I remembered passing out...

"Oh, great, I'm having one of those dreams again." I mumbled to myself.

Well, at least I got to enjoy being what I was for a little while.

It's like this: When I was depressed, there was this huge cloud, but now, a ray of sunlight was coming through.

I didn't want to waste the sunlight, but I also didn't want to do anything stupid.  
My last dream had ended before anything could happen to me, but what about this time? What would happen if I got hurt? I didn't want to think about it.

Okay, here's the situation again. I was in a junkyard, somewhere on Cybertron. It wasn't the same one Thundercracker and I used to live in. The layout was different.

I either had two options: Stay put or look around. Last time, the second idea landed me in some trouble, so I drew my wingsword as I began to look around.

I know, staying put was safer, but I was a JET. Jets don't like to stay put.

Carefully, I picked my way through pieces of scrap metal lying around.

Straining my audio receptors for any noise, I thought I heard gunfire far off in the distance. I didn't have to worry about it coming over here. The fighting from what I could tell was off in another sector, but it just sounded closer because it was loud.

What I also heard was voices. They weren't too far away; probably on the other side of the junkyard. I couldn't hear any other movement or voice, so I decided to sneak over there to see what was going on.

As I crossed, I felt torn. Maybe if I saw these transformers, it would end my dream like last time. I'd be stuck as a freak again. But if I didn't end the dream, then I would never really be alive, would I? I wouldn't see Swindle again, or Alexis...

"You're not as powerful as you think you are." came an irritated female voice.

I tensed. I hadn't realized how close I'd gotten while I was thinking.

Stopping in front of a pile of useless junk, I peered around to see a mech and femme sitting down across from each other on each side of a small burning fire between them on metal parts with gasoline dribbled across them.

From what I could see, the femme was a burgundy color, and her right hand was damaged. The top of it was missing metal (To any humans reading this, that's like getting the skin on top of the hand taken cleanly off without drawing blood, or at least not very much), and her pointer finger was missing. She wasn't very bulky. Her optics gleamed an icy blue in the darkness, and on her chest, just above a dent that must have been a gash earlier, was an Autobot insignia. The dent looked familiar, and I realized that she was the femme from the alley. I felt relieved that she was okay, which was weird. Normally I didn't get attached to someone after I first met them.

"Neither are you, sweetspark." came the mech's sarcastic voice, and I felt the energon boil inside of me.

It was the mech that had been hurting her earlier on. I felt like slamming his head into the ground with my foot.

Then I got a what's-wrong-with-this-picture feeling. If someone beat up on me like that, I wouldn't be sitting around chatting with them, let alone at night. I was starting to wonder if any of the energon I'd had in the past week didn't have any, well, we'll call them surprises, in it.

It was hard to tell anything about the mech, even in the firelight. His armor seemed so black and glossy that it blended in with the shadows and mixed light. Plus, his back was to me, so I couldn't see his optics or insignia, and I wasn't in the mood to try moving and risk getting caught.

"I'm surprised you actually came to talk to me." he snickered.

"If I make a promise, I keep it."

"How'd you get let out so easily? Wouldn't they be a little suspicious after patching that up?" he asked, pointing at the dent. The light showed that it was wider and deeper than I'd thought when I'd tried to help her before.

She shrugged and stretched both of her hands into the light. I saw that the other one was missing three fingers and had nearly all of the metal stripped away.

"After Soundwave did all this to me when I got caught, I learned to deal with pain easier and recover faster."

All this? She had more scars?

The mech laughed. "Aura, you're impossible!"

CRACK!

I jumped, looked down to see I'd stepped on a piece of metal, and cussed.

Unfortunately, I was heard very easily and the only warning I got was a pistol shot going off.

That day, or more like that night, just wasn't going well for me.


	14. Chapter 14

Can anybody guess what the mech is? I don't own Transformers.

I held my ground as the black mech pointed his pistol at various piles of junk, swiveling around like a turret.

Aura was on her feet and moving toward me.

"We know you're there! Come out!" she growled authoritatively.

I wasn't sure if she actually didn't see me, but that got answered quickly.

The mech's pistol fired again, leaving a smoldering hole next to me.

"You got a lot of guts to spy on us, kid! Wanna play with the big mechs now?" There was a challenge in his tone as he got up, disappearing into the shadows.

I held my wingsword out so its tip was a few feet from Aura. "You owe me, so let me go."

Raising one of her maimed hands, she casually pushed the blade out of her face, her expression suspicious. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I narrowed my optics at her. "You know, for an Autobot, you're not very virtuous."

She held the same suspicion on her face, her optics piercing right through me.

"Who are you?" she questioned.

"A transformer." I replied in a smart-aleck tone, smirking.

Aura scowled, "Cute," then took a step back from me.

A split second later, I hopped into the air to avoid a pendulum kick from her.

"You'll have to do better than that!" I taunted from where I was now floating.

That was when I remembered that the mech was still hidden. With a loaded pistol.

BANG!

The shot collided with me, knocking the wind out of my body and sending me to the ground.

Aura ran over right after and whacked my wingsword out of my hands as another hand centered around my throat from behind.

I would've been stupid if I didn't think the gun was right by me.

"You're in big trouble, kid." the mech growled.

I didn't feel scared because I'd gotten out of worse things.

"Wait, don't do anything stupid." Aura warned, holding out a hand in a stopping motion.

Why was she helping me? Oh, right, she was an Autobot. Then what was this mech?

He sounded like a little of both.

"Look at his wings, Aura. There're Autobot insignias on them. If he squeals, we're gonna get it." The mech didn't sound worried, just put-off.

"Hmm...I don't remember ever seeing him, and since he won't give his name, then I don't know what I should do. Prowl would kill me if I destroyed one of our own, not to mention what Optimus would do." She didn't sound as mean as the words were. I guess she was just trying to think, since she'd been caught between a rock and a hard place.

Well, at least I knew the time setting now, sort of. It was before we'd left for Earth.

"We can't let him go. Especially since he can fly. I might be able to break his wings."

I tensed and yelled, "Oh no, you don't!"

Glaring at the mech over my head, she reprimanded, "Blackflare! Learn some self-control for once!"

He chuckled. "Just kidding. My real idea is to dump him somewhere."

"How about no?" I snapped at him, trying to turn my head to see his face. No luck.

Unfortunately, I had no say in Blackflare's suggestion. Aura did.

After a while, she sighed, "Well, I suppose it's the only thing that can be done."

Finally looking down at me, she whispered, "I'm sorry." It sounded genuine to me, but right now wasn't a good time to be judging moral values.

"I know just the place."

As he began to lift me up, I flailed and kicked, screaming, "PUT ME DOWN NOW!"

XXXXXX

"Starscream! STARSCREAM!"

"Put me down!!!!" I continued to yell, still flailing. All I could see was darkness.

"Starscream, wake up!"

"Huh?" I stopped, and still the darkness was around me. Wait a minute...

Jerking my eyes open (human again, woo-hoo), I saw light brown cliff faces in front of me. Um, shouldn't I have been squished like a bug?

Looking down, I say that I was sitting on something yellow. Oh, great.

"Are you okay?"

Sighing, I replied in a monotone voice, "Yes, Hot Shot. I'm just peachy."

"What were you thinking? You could've killed yourself!"

Spinning around to glare at him, I jabbed a finger in his direction, and began to rant.

"Listen up, King Stupidity, I was trying to FLY, okay? And well, I did, except I got a bad headache. And that headache caused me to fall! Big freaking deal!" Imagine that being said slowly, as if to an idiot, like Exhibit A, whose hand I was now sitting on.

"What? Sorry? Were you talking to yourself again?"

Oh, I was mad now.

"Both of you quit fighting like you're sparklings!"

Turning around, I saw Hoist standing off to the side. I couldn't see that much of him, since he was so tall compared to me, and I wasn't in the mood to crane my neck again.

"Optimus sent me to find you, Starscream. He said he wanted to talk to you."

"Gee, thanks." I muttered sarcastically.

XXXXXX

"So, what did you need to tell me?" I asked from where I stood, leaning against a wall in the base.

Currently, I was in one of the base's smaller rooms, and in front of me was Optimus, along with Alexis and our two Mini-Con friends, who didn't look very happy.

Sighing, he replied, "Starscream, you're not a full transformer anymore, which means we can't keep you around here all the time."

"What?! Why not?"

"You're part human, which means you need to learn about your new life as one. That's why you're going to be with Alexis, Rad, and the other kids for a while."

"Excuse me, but how can I walk around in broad daylight with wings on my back, let alone live with other humans? They'd probably ship me off to a laboratory as soon as they saw me!"

THAT was one of things that really did scare me, being strapped done to a table, held under heavy guard, and having who-knows-what being done to me. No way would I ever live like that.

"We weren't saying that you had to live with them, but you have to at least get out of here for most of the day."

"But what about my wings?"

"Red Alert's working on a cloaking device to hide them. There's another thing I have to tell you. Don't fly, all right?"

Alexis and Swindle both gave me looks, and I slowly nodded. "Yes, sir."

What else could I have done? I was an Autobot, whether I like it or not.

XXXXXX

"For the third time, quit staring at me!"

The boys had just come in, and I was already tired of their gawking at me, especially after Optimus had explained to them what had happened.

"Well, sorry, but we don't see a dude with robotic wings every day!" Fred replied.

I glared at him. "You do every slagging day you see me, transformer or not, moron!"

"Your attitude still hasn't changed." Carlos mumbled.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, sorry I can't be everything at once."

"Hanging out with him is gonna suck."

Rounding on Billy, I yelled, "I heard that!"

I didn't just feel moody. I felt tense. I was around other beings that I didn't completely understand and I was one of them.

"Guys, chill out! Look, let's just go outside. We'll find something to do then."  
That would be Mr. Wannabe Leader Rad who had said that. Once again, I was ticked off at him for some reason, even after he was trying to be helpful. What was my problem with him?

"All right, let's go!" Alexis exclaimed, trying to bring more cheer to Rad's suggestion. I had to suppress the urge to glare daggers at the both of them.

"Yeah-yeah." the rest of us replied and followed them.

Just great, one full day three hard-to-tolerate guys, and one guy that made my blood boil.

"This is gonna be a long day." I mumbled to Swindle, who beeped his agreement as he followed me out.


	15. Chapter 15

Starscream and the others go for a little swim! I don't own Chex Mix, The Ring series, The Grudge series, or Transformers. What the hell do I own?!

I felt like I wanted to punch Rad.

Our walk across the dry dirt and dust, leading to a small forest near the base, was brutal.

The sun beat directly down on us, and I could feel my skin burning easily, but held my tongue. I was a pale white, just like my armor was. Added to that, sweat was pouring down my back from my long hair overheating my body.

Swindle asked me a couple of times, one for each time we passed a sharp rock, if I wanted to cut it, but I turned him down each time. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't see what I was doing and didn't want to cut in the wrong place, making myself look stupid, or worse, hurting myself.

The forest was easy to see, but it was both close and far away. We weren't riding toward it because I was told a little after we left that the kids were doing a botany project as well, so they had to look around for plants and study them.

Of course, even though I didn't go to their school, I was roped in to helping anyway because that was what human friends did. Ugh! I felt ready to bash my head in with one of the bigger stones lying around.

As I was watching Alexis sketch a picture of a desert flower in her notebook, a wind kicked up.

She let out a cry of frusturation as the notebook's pages blew to an empty one.

Then my hair was now covering my face.

"Hey, look, it's Samara!" Carlos joked as I heard him open a bottle of water.

"No, it's Kayako, idiot! There's no TV nearby!" Billy corrected.

"Samara's scarier!"

"Kayako's hotter!"

As anyone could probably tell, I was lost.

Brushing the hair out of my face, I let out a frusturated growl as it blew back in.

"Definitely Kayako. You can tell by the noise."

"Will you two knock it off and explain to me what you're trying to say?!" I yelled between the hair in my mouth.

Then came the laughter.

I heard someone walk over to me and felt two hands gently pull mine away from my hair.

"Here, let me help." Alexis comforted, pulling my hair away in each hand to the back of my head and tying it with a band.

"No wait, it's Starscream. Run away!"

"Okay, Billy, it's not funny anymore." Rad chided from where he stood by a brown plant that was in a ball, which I'd seen rolling by earlier when the wind had first picked up. He'd stopped it with his foot.

"Wait, you've never seen The Ring or The Grudge, Starscream?" Carlos asked.

"What do you think?" I murmured.

"I don't blame him. Those movies are scary!" Fred added from where he was eating a bag of Chex Mix. Typical.

"Wimp," Carlos called him, then turned to me, "They're both horror movie DVD's. I've got The Ring, and Billy's got The Grudge. We can take them to the rec room tomorrow, and um, educate you two."

"No way!" Fred yelled, waving his arms in front of his face.

Alexis giggled a little, and I smirked. "Come on, Fred, it's not like either of them will pop out of the screen."

"Actually-" Carlos started, but Rad held out a hand to stop him.

"You'll just have to see for yourself, then, huh?"

"Is that a challenge?"

He shrugged, letting the plant tumble away. "Whatever you say, Starscream."

XXXXXX

"Geronimo!"

I held out my hands to cover myself from the splash.

We were now in the cool forest, having followed a river that wound through it to a reservoir.

Billy had just jumped in, fully clothed. He was bound to sink to the bottom like a stone.

"How's the water?" Carlos called as he broke the surface.

"It's...refreshing..." he replied, clutching himself, his teeth chattering.

"Yeah, okay, drama queen. Here I come!"

I couldn't help but laugh when he yelled, "Holy crap, you weren't kidding!"

"I think I'll stay here where it's nice and dry." Fred plopped down on the grass and laid out on his back.

The Mini-Cons sat in the shade a distance away from the pool, relaxing as well.

Taking off her shoes, Alexis stuck her bare feet in the water. Cupping her hands in it, she brought out a small amount and dumped it on her head.

"Ah, that feels nice." she whispered.

I moved to join her, but heard Rad call, "Hey, Starscream!"

Always when I didn't want him to!

"You want a real challenge?"

Rolling my eyes, I nodded.

He pointed to a rocky outcropping above the pool, where a waterfall poured into the reservoir.

"Let's see who can jump the highest off of it without chickening out or falling!"

"Go for it, Starscream!" Alexis encouraged, smiling up at me.

Nodding, I pulled off my boots so I wouldn't I slide on the wet rock and began to climb, hearing Swindle cheer for me, while Highwire cheered for Rad.

It was easy for me to climb. All I had to do was focus on balancing myself by peering at how straight my wings were situated on either side of me.

Rad had more trouble.

I had to fight a laugh as I saw him wobble back and forth, then slide.

"Come on, amigo!" Carlos yelled.

Catching himself, he continued up.

I was about a third of the way to the top, while he was a quarter.

Everyone was watching us, and I smirked. I was going to show this brat what was what.

Suddenly, I felt an all too familar pain smash up inside of my head, and I let out a cry, my leg losing its strength and sliding on the rock.

I scrabbled to keep a grip with my hands as I fought the pain, hearing yells below me.

"Not...now..." I growled to myself, then felt it slice through my head once again, causing my grip to slide off the rock.

I fell sideways, hit a wall of water, and then fell into the reservoir, the force of the waterfall and the weight of my clothes pushing me down under easily.

XXXXXX

"Late again, Aura?"

I jerked my eyes open, but saw only water. I was sinking and felt no energy to pull myself up.

Looking up, I saw the forms of Billy and Carlos frantically kicking around and dunking their heads under to look for me.

"Prowl, I-"

I cried out, but the water didn't carry my voice well enough to be heard.

"I let you off the hook once, but now I don't know what to do with you."

I heard something hit the water, hard, and saw a huge cloud of bubbles rise up, a stone from the outcropping hidden inside.

"Please, don't report this to Optimus! I'm sorry, but something came up!"

Something else hit the water near me.

"That's what you said last time. Something has been seeming wrong with you during the last two weeks. Is there anything you want to tell me?"

The other thing turned out to be Rad, who was swimming quickly toward me, an anxious look on his face.

"I'm fine! You don't have to be poking into my life, you know!"

He grabbed and tried to haul me up, but I was dead weight, wings and all. Without them, he probably would have been able to pull me up.

"Not unless I have a reason to, and now I do. Starting with when you returned to the base with that horrible gash on your chest."

My lungs felt like they were slowly starting to burn. I didn't want to die as a human!

"So? I can deal with it on my own!"

I heard someone else swim toward me from the back, but felt too tired to turn my head.

"Aura, as your mentor, I can't let you do that. I wouldn't be doing my job if I did."

I felt a second pair of hands grab me from behind, and Rad nodded to the person I couldn't see.

"I'm not a sparkling anymore, Prowl!"

Together, the two hauled me toward the surface, just as my lungs felt ready to burst.

"But you are still young, and have to learn to count on others. You can't always go it alone. If you don't trust me, then you have lost yourself."

I gasped loudly as we broke the surface, gulping in air as if I'd never have it again.

"Don't scare us like that!" Alexis yelled from where she held me.

The two helped me tread over to the side, Carlos and Billy anxiously following us.

XXXXXX

"Whew!" I sighed as I broke the surface of the pool, flipping my black hair back over my shoulders. It had been two days since the incident, and I was currently teaching myself to swim better, in case that would ever happen to me again.

The headache had actually gone away as soon as I had hit water and the audio of the scene had begun playing in my ears, but I hadn't had the endurance to gather enough strength to swim back up. I of course had never done much swimming as a transformer.

Swindle was sitting nearby, keeping a watch over me, Laserbeak perched on his shoulder. Hot Shot and Sideswipe were racing around in the nearby desert, so if anything went wrong, he could just call them, and they'd pull me out of the water.  
I didn't like them, of course, but I had to trust someone fast with my life.

The kids were off at school, so I needed something to do so I wouldn't die of boredom, other than relive the scenes of the two horror movies I had seen the day before.

Even after thinking about them, I just couldn't get it. Samara wasn't really scary, just disturbing. It didn't even show how she killed anyone! Then we had Kayoko killing off people with her hair. Okay....And then I heard they had sequels. Oh boy, what fun.

Fred had screamed and hid under a pillow when Samara popped out of the TV at the end of the movie, and we all laughed, even him.

I didn't know if I was really growing closer to the boys, or if we just happened to have a couple of good times together.

Even though I owed Rad my life, I still didn't like him, especially since he had his arm around Alexis throughout The Ring, and then reminisced her about what weird stuff had happened in the movie theater when they had seen The Grudge there while we watched the movie. (For example, someone acutally threw up when Kayako killed her first victim)

Thinking about this reminded of the scene I had heard.

As I dove back under the water, I came to a realization about Aura and myself. We both had a hard time trusting others completely, even those close to us. But at the same time, there seemed to be something more between Blackflare and her, just as I felt something more between Alexis and myself.

**The Choices We Make Chapter 15** by ~nightchildmoonchild

I felt like I wanted to punch Rad.  
Our walk across the dry dirt and dust, leading to a small forest near the base, was brutal.  
The sun beat directly down on us, and I could feel my skin burning easily, but held my tongue. I was a pale white, just like my armor was. Added to that, sweat was pouring down my back from my long hair overheating my body.

Swindle asked me a couple of times, one for each time we passed a sharp rock, if I wanted to cut it, but I turned him down each time. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't see what I was doing and didn't want to cut in the wrong place, making myself look stupid,

Drag and Drop to Collect


	16. Chapter 16

We meet Alexis's father in this chapter. Her mother is dead in this fic. Yes, I realize that in one episode she said she was sending an e-mail to her parents, but I hadn't seen the full episode until after I wrote this chapter. I don't own Transformers.

"Wakey, wakey, Screamer!"

"Swindle, that never was funny, and if you don't want your face punched in, I'd suggest you knock it off."

After I'd finished swimming, I came back and passed out on the couch in the kids' rec room for I didn't know how long. Even after the nap, I still felt bushed.

"Sorry, but the kids are going to be here in a short while."

"Screw 'em." I muttered, covering my head with a pillow. Couldn't he just go away and let me sleep?

"You sure you're okay?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm fine. Just because I have a few headaches doesn't mean that I'm dying." I grumbled from beneath the pillow.

I heard him laugh. "You still sound like you always do, so I guess you're right. Hey, can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Did you have any of those weird dreams while you were passed out?"

Swindle had only heard of the first one, and after that, I'd kept quiet about them. If I tried to talk about them with anyone else, I'd probably be spending most, if not all of my hybrid existence in a straight jacket.

Sliding the pillow away from my face, I sighed, remembering what Prowl had said to Aura about trusting others.

"Well, here goes," I filled him in about how bizarre it was that Aura and Blackflare were together in the junkyard, even though they had been fighting earlier.

"Maybe it was just a practice fight?" Swindle asked.

"It can't be that. Aura had a gash in her chest."

"So? You'd injured Demolishor and Cyclonus when you fought against them."

"But Autobots don't do that, Swindle. Aura was an Autobot."

"What was Blackflare?"

"I couldn't tell. Besides, he had to have been an Autobot, or one of them would have been dead when the fight was over."

"Hmm..."

"Hey!"

We looked up to see the other kids and the Mini-Cons coming over. I heaved myself up into a sitting position.

"Poor Starscream. He's being a lazy bum." Billy exaggerated a sigh and plopped on the couch next to me.

"Question: Why are all the jokes directed at me?" I asked as he grabbed a controller.

"Not all of 'em." Carlos replied, turning on the game, controller in hand, and then going to plop down on my other side.

"Most of 'em are." I countered.

"Relax, Starscream. It's all for fun." Rad said in a calming tone where he dropped his backpack on the floor and plopped down next to it to watch the game.

"I can move, you know." I offered. I really didn't want to get stuck between two boys in the middle of pitched, yet virtual, combat.

I don't think Rad wanted to, either. "Nah, I'm good."

"Rad, a little bit of help here!" Alexis called from where she was sitting in a chair, staring quizically at a sheet of paper.

"What's the homework on?" he asked, going to join her.

"Algebra. It's the feared 'train is going to this place' questions."

What did trains have to do with algebra?

I heard a cracking sound and looked over to see Fred chomping away on an apple.

I suddenly felt sick, almost ready to throw up. I clutched my stomach.

"Hey, Starscream, you okay?" Fred asked.

I was starting to really get fed up with everyone asking me if I was all right.

My stomach rumbling came as an answer.

"I'd better go get some energon."

Instead of moving in front of Carlos and Billy, thus blocking their game and having their wrath be brought down upon me, I climbed over the back of the couch, and though I nearly fell over, I still made it.

"Starscream, what're you trying to do?" Alexis asked, glancing up at me.

"Trying to get some energon." My stomach growled again as I said that, though it was louder this time.

"You sound like you haven't eaten in days." Rad commented.

"Would I still be on my two feet if I hadn't?" I replied sarcastically.

"No, but you're leaning to the side a little." Alexis chimed in.

Would they ever shut up? All I wanted to do was silence my growling stomach, for crying out loud!

"Hey, Starscream, what else have you been having, other than energon?" she asked.

"I don't need anything else. It keeps me going, doesn't it?" My stomach growled again at the end of that statement.

"You need more than that!" she exclaimed.

Rad kept his head down, supposedly studying the work. I knew he was trying to hide his laughter at how stupid this all sounded.

"I'm not eating human food!" I retorted.

"Why not?" She glared, her hands on her hips.

Because it would distance me from what I once was, and I didn't want to lose that. That was the real answer. Plus, I was feeling fine living on it, up until I started doing things that cost more energy.

Instead, I simply shrugged.

Letting out an exasperated groan, Alexis, put her hands to her temples and rolled them in circles, her eyes closed, then opened them.

"You know what? You're going to eat dinner with me tonight."

"What?!"

"You heard me. I'm going to make sure that you eat, even if I have to force it down a tube!"

XXXXXX

"This is so uncomfortable." I murmured, scratching the back of my neck. Red Alert had finished the cloaking device, and it turned out to be a tight choker. I'd grabbed it off of him before we left, after grabbing a piece of fruit for a an energy snack so I wouldn't be swaggering around like a drunk. Strangely enough, I found that I actually liked it.

I spent a half hour in med bay trying to make sure it fit me and worked right (something about connecting to my wing metal through the nerves leading to it to break apart the molecules of it for a short time ???). I finally finished and thanked him for his work quickly, but still geuninely enough to be acceptable.

Alexis was a talking on the Autobots' communication device to someone at her house (probably her dad), and was convincing whoever it was to let me come over on such a short notice. It sounded like inviting more than one person like that was really pushing it, so she settled for bringing only me along.

After about ten minutes of waiting, she came up and told me, "We're going to leave in a half hour."

The idea of going somewhere with just her sounded fine, but at the same time she was sounding a little too domineering. Even the boys gave her a couple of looks.

XXXXXX

"She's just trying to do what's best for you, Starscream." Red had told while I was practicing with the cloaking device.

"I know, but she's worse than a mother."

"She's had plenty of practice."

I didnt know whether that was insulting or just funny, but I laughed anyway.

XXXXXX

Unfortunately, since having a mini-dragster following us around was a little too weird for human tastes, I had to leave Swindle behind.

I felt a little nervous as we left the safe, sparcely populated desert to enter the civilized human world.

I'd of course seen human settlements before, but they were nothing to me. After all, I'd been a powerful transformer then. But now I was almost just like one of them, and I was in their world now.

Alexis had calmed down and was walking Sureshock along next to her, keeping pace with me instead of riding on ahead as we paced the two-story white-colored human homes.

"Right here." She pointed to one with a small square-shaped front porch with two short columns supporting it. It jutted it from a rectangular-shaped house with a sloping dark brown roof. A small garden bordered the sidewalk leading up to the porch on each side. It seemed quiet and peaceful, so I felt my nerves slide away a little.

Leading me up the sidewalk with a small smile, she stopped on the porch and laid Sureshock in the shade. Oh well, she'd deal with being left out.

As I joined her by the door, she knocked on it, and it opened to reveal Alexis's father. I could just tell.

He was taller than me by a head with broad shoulders and a lean build. His hair was the same color as Alexis's, but it was graying at the sides. He gave me a quick but firm lookover with his greenish-brown eyes, trying to see if I was a good boy.

"Dad, this is my friend, Gabriel Avian."

What kind of a name was that? I understood the Avian part, but what did Gabriel mean?

"Pleased to meet you, Gabe. I'm Dennis Wilson." He extended his hand, and I shook it slowly.

"If you're hungry, food's done. It's burgers tonight."

"Awesome! Thanks, Dad!" Alexis smiled broadly as he walked away, then led me inside.

The first thing I saw was a mantle, and in front of it were a few chairs. On top of the mantle was a picture of a woman with flowing red hair and Alexis's deep jade eyes.

"My mom. She died when I was ten." I heard Alexis sigh. She must've seen me looking at it.

Next to the picture was one of a much younger Alexis being held my her mother in the middle, with her father to the left. On the right was an older girl with reddish-brown hair and the brown eyes.

"Who's that?" I asked.

"My sister, Chris. She's in college right now."

I looked over at Alexis to find she was staring intently at the picture, her eyes focused on her mother, a sad frown on her face.

Before I could try to comfort her, she perked up. "Come on, let's eat!"


	17. Chapter 17

We get a little more background on Alexis's father here, and get to meet her cat, too. Sureshock doesn't do anything in this chapter because Alexis forgets to take him with her. Mr. Jensen's name is taken from a character in Transformers: Ghosts of Yesterday. I don't own Transformers.

"Hey Gabe, have you eaten at all today?"

"Dad!"

"He's working on his fourth burger and third salad, Alexis. I think I can ask."

What could I say? I was starving.

Alexis and her father ate in a medium-sized room that humans called a kitchen. A wooden round table with two chairs on each side and a small vase of sunflowers in the center sat on the light brown tile in the middle of the room, with the sunset spilling through a window on the left side. At the back of the room were various cabinets and machines that humans used to prepare their food that stood against one of the white walls. A counter was across from them, cutting the room in half almost completely. Shelves sat on the walls, holding small plants and spices as decorations.

Alexis sat to the right of me, and from out of the corner of my eye I could see her covering her own eyes with one hand, embarassed. Well, it served her right for forcing me out of the base like that.

Swallowing, I looked up and replied, "Um, actually I haven't. I've been busy all day. I had a lot of work to do."

My friend flashed me a smile as she let her hand slide off. So far so good, but I had a feeling that Dennis wasn't quite done with the questions yet.

"Speaking of work, do you go to school with Alexis?"

He wasn't being intrusive, just curious. Still, he was starting to get on my nerves already. Couldn't he just be okay with the fact that she brought a friend home for a while?

"Actually, yeah. I just came here."

"A little late in the year, don't you think? Spring break's in a little over a week."

"At least he didn't come a week before summer vacation." Alexis joked. Good. I needed a little help, and I had the perfect person to count on.

He laughed a little. "I guess that's true. You move around a lot, Gabe?"

Leaning forward, she answered for me, "He sure does! His dad's an engineer, so he is transferred around a lot. He's been to so many cool places like Detroit and Houston!"

"Oh really?" He raised an eyebrow. "That's interesting. I've seen some pretty far off places too, even though they were mostly dust and sand."

"Dad was in the military. He fought in The Gulf War." Alexis gave me a don't-ask-right-now look as she said that.

"Serving was grand, but I also missed my family." he sighed nostagically, his eyes distant.

"What do you do now?" I asked. I was actually starting to get interested in this conversation. Dennis sounded a little like me. He was a soldier sent off to a land he didn't know to fight for a cause he believed in. I guessed he still believed in his though, unlike me, since he didn't mind talking about when he served.

"I'm a mechanic. I work on anything from motorcycles to trucks. I got my experience by repairing tanks back while I served. I've been wanting to try my hand at Alexis's nice little moped to see how that baby runs so fast, but she won't let me touch it."

I felt a tingle go up my spine. Megatron transformed into a tank, and here I was talking to someone who knew them inside out. Maybe I could ask him what he knew about a tank's weak points later on. At that point, however, I doubted that he would share what he knew to someone that he didn't know as well.

"What about your wife?"

Dennis snapped out of his happy nostalgic state, and I watched the corners of his mouth turn down. "Lynn was a painter. She was damn good." he replied in a hard tone.

Without thinking, I blurted out, "How did she die?"

I immediately wanted to slap myself for letting my curiousity get the better of me.  
Alexis elbowed me in the gut. Her father put his face in his hands, letting out a long, drawn-out groan.

Slowly letting them slide off, he said slowly, sounding on the verge of tears, "Lynn had uterine cancer when Alexis was ten. We did all we could, but she died six months later." His eyes stared at nothing as he told me what had happened, then picked up his plate almost mechanically. "I'll clean up. Alexis, take your friend home."

XXXXXX

"What was that all about?! Did you want to see my dad cry? Huh?!" Alexis yelled at me, her hands on her hips, her jade eyes flashing. She'd yelled at me as soon as the door leading to the porch had swung shut behind us.

"No, no! I just thought-"

"Thought what?"

"If you shut up for two seconds, I'll tell you!" I yelled back as the last few rays of sunlight slid away.

Crossing her arms, she murmured, "I'm listening."

Sighing, I told her, "You said that your mom had died when you were little. I thought it wouldn't've mattered by now."

"Wouldn't've mattered?! Of course it does! Dad loved her with all his heart! Why don't you think he didn't marry again?"

"Sorry, but how was I supposed to know?"

Leaning in, she whispered, "This may be a new concept to you, Starscream, but use your FREAKING brain once in a while!"

As soon as she'd said that, I felt something thick and soft slide against my leg.  
Looking down, I saw a black cat twining itself around my legs. It looked up at me, its yellow eyes shining, letting out a small meow.

I was a little creeped out. Since when did cats waltz up to me and start getting all affectionate?

As I froze, starting it back in the eyes, Alexis sighed and murmured, "Well, at least someone's on your side."

Bending down, she scooped up the cat, who let out a small cry, then slowly nestled itself comfortably in her arms.

"Meet Jinx. She's my cat, well, technically my mom's."

Jinx purred loudly as Alexis scratched her behind the ears.

I reached out my hand, and she swiped her rough tongue across it.

"She always goes out on her own during the day, but knows when to come home for some nice yummy tuna."

Slowly putting Jinx down, Alexis opened the door to let her into the house.

"Aren't you afraid of her running away?" I asked.

"Actually, no. It's kind of like you guys and your Mini-Cons. We love our pets, and they love us. Sure, we each live our different lives, but we always come back together at the end of the day."

She sat down on the stairs and looked up at the stars and moon. "You know, that's kind of like you and me, Starscream." A smile began to spread across her face as I sat next to her, stretching my legs out, thinking on this.

Maybe transformers and humans were closer together than I had once thought.

"I guess you're right," I said after a while, "But there will always be things that keep us apart. Like how we view the importance of things."

As she turned to look at me, I sighed, "I'm sorry about earlier."

Alexis got up and walked down the rest of the stairs, then turned to face me, her eyes downcast. "It's okay, but what if I just blurted out a question about your parents?"

I hopped up, my hands jammed in my pockets, and passed her, leading the way out of her yard, Alexis following and waiting for me to speak.

After passing four houses, I looked up at the moon and whispered, "It wouldn't matter. Not anymore."

"Why not?" she asked.

"I never knew them."

"Starscream, that's terrible!" she whispered, her hand grasping my left wrist, that being closest to her. I let the hand attached to it fall out of my pocket.

"Just about everything about my life, save for my time with the Autobots, has  
been terrible."

"Don't say that!"

Jerking my head down, I didn't yell, even though I wanted to. I just simply stated, "I wouldn't be telling the truth if I didn't admit that."

"Then why did I call you Gabriel?"

I narrowed my eyes. "What does that word mean to you, anyway?"

"It was the name of an angel."

I didn't know what angels meant to humans, but the way she said the name implied that it meant something strong and good. That wasn't me. It never would be. If I was strong, I would have defeated Megatron. If I was good, I wouldn't have ever been a Decepticon.

Before I could contradict her, Alexis placed her other hand on my cheek, the stars reflecting in her eyes. "Starscream, you're so much more than you think you are."

Then, I felt pain tear through my skull, and fell forward with a groan.

XXXXXX

"Calm down, Aura."

I heaved myself up, not surprised to find that my arm was metal. What did surprise me was where I was.

Opening out directly in front of me was a giant ocean of darkness, broken by a few lights. Cybertron.

I was lying very close to the edge of a roof.

I of course was used to heights, so I stood up and backed away with no trouble.

My back hit a wall. The building's roof had a spire in the middle that cast a long shadow around its circumference. Perfect hiding spot.

"Blackflare, Prowl's been getting on my case, and you're telling me not to worry about it? Are you stupid?"

Gingerly, I leaned against the spire. The two's voices sounded a little far off, so they were on the other side. I wouldn't see what they were doing, anyway, and besides, I didn't think there would be much to see with so little space.

"Don't worry about him, okay? Listen to him, and your life will end up dull and boring."

Whoa. That was a little far.

"Excuse me?! Prowl raised me after my parents enlisted me in the Autobots as a sparkling for protection! I think you should back off before I bash your head so hard, it'll still be spinning when your spark reaches the Pit!"

Nice comeback, but I didn't think Blackflare was going to let himself be beaten so easily. Still, if he was an Autobot, then why was he badmouthing Prowl in front of his apprentice? Prowl was a high-ranking officer, capable of canning this mech at the snap of a finger.

"Like I said before, relax. I was only kidding."

"You know, sometimes I wonder why I even consider having you around."

"Aw, come on, you know you want me." I had to bite back a laugh at that.

"How about now?"

"How about I throw you off this tower?"

"I'm believing this why?"

"Because I always keep my promises."

"Name one."  
A long pause came, then I heard Aura gasp. "Well, I promised to show you Cybertron, didn't I?"

I heard jet boosters power up, and a few seconds later Blackflare zipped by, all but his blue flaming jet trail consumed by the darkness. Aura, clearly visible, had her arms wrapped around him for dear life, screaming, "Put me down, you Primus-damned slagger!!!!"  
Chuckling, the mech simply rocketed out of sight, the jet trail, along with everything else in sight, dissapating into thin air.

XXXXXX

"Hey! Who the hell's out there?!"

"Starscream, wake up, NOW!" I heard Alexis whisper frantically in my ear.

As I got up, I smelled something putrid laying beside me and saw said putrid thing spilling out of an overturned silver container.

"Lemme guess. We knocked something over, got heard, and will now have a paranoid human call the authorities on us."

Lights clicked on in the house that we were in front of, but we were hidden by a picket fence. A blast went off, lights from nearby houses also clicked on, and people were silohuetted against the the lights in the windows.

Alexis's eyes were wide as plates. "Whoa, I didn't know Mr. Jensen had a gun."

"How about we not stick around for target practice?" I asked, yanking off my choker.

She gasped and scooped it off the ground. "Starscream, you'll get caught! What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that if you hold onto my wings, he won't know what the hell he saw."

A second blast went off, and somebody yelled, "HEY! WE'RE TRYING TO SLEEP!"

I saw angry neighbors begin to leave their windows, more than likely on their way to give this guy a piece of their minds.

"Wings now!" I ordered, and she immediately grabbed on with both hands, the choker hanging from her fingers.

Letting go of my human body, I leapt into the air and rocketed away, hearing Mr. Jensen yell from far below me, "What the hell was that?!"


	18. Chapter 18

This is a short chapter, but it has a good part in it! I don't own Transformers.

Alexis let out an excited scream as we flew through the air. I couldn't help but smile. It felt cool and fresh, having the wind whip by us. But at the same time, it felt very tiring. Her weight was bogging down on my wings, which weren't used to carrying anything yet.

"Alexis!"

"What?"

"I need to put you down somewhere!"

"Okay, let me think..."

After a while, she yelled, "That house on the left with the pointy black roof! It's Carlos's!"

I did a nosedive as soon as she pointed it out, leaving her screaming her head off and clinging to me for dear life. I stopped myself just before we hit the earth, then fell with a thump on the grass, worn out. We were in the house's backyard, and thankfully there were no lights on in our direction.

Then my stomach felt like it was being stomped on. I clutched it and faced the ground, heaving and gasping, having forgotten that I'd eaten a lot of food not too long ago.

I felt Alexis's hand grab my arm, and I was dragged over into a bush. Carlos's house didn't have a fence.

Her hand gently rubbed my shoulder. "It's okay, Starscream. You're all right." she whispered.

"Easy for you to say!" I coughed.

My stomach finally calmed down. I sat up slowly, trying not to screw it up again.

Alexis smiled. "Glad to see that you're okay."

I waved my hand. "You don't have to worry about me all the time."

That was when she realized that her hand was still on my shoulder. Blushing, she slid it off.

"Looks like Carlos's family is out. I'll walk to Rad's. He lives a few houses down."

"You don't have to. I can fly you home." I offered a little indignantly.

"No. You look really tired, so you'd better get back to the base." Alexis's tone easily showed that she wasn't going to take any ifs, ands, or buts. Funny how I was listening to a human.

She held out the choker, and I slowly took it out of her hands, fighting the urge to grab her hand and make her stay. Once again, Rad just had to come into the picture. I still couldn't understand why he irked me so much.

"Alexis, do you still have that necklace you made out of the Mars rock?" I asked without thinking.

"Yeah, why?"

I shrugged. "Just wondering. You sure you're gonna be all right?"

She smiled broadly. "I'll be fine. Thanks for looking out for me."

I sighed as Alexis walked away, then crept out of the grass, snapped into a standing position, and flew away.

XXXXXX

"You are impossible, Starscream." Scavenger muttered as I flew into the base.

Flying past him, I replied tiredly, "Ah, shut up."

I was suddenly going backward at 200 miles an hour, and then I was just as quickly jerked to a stop to face the mech.

"Put me down. I want to sleep." I growled.

"Didn't Optimus tell you not to fly?"

"It wasn't my fault! I had no choice!" I yelled.

He sighed. "Looks like you have a lot of explaining to do. All right, go off and sleep, but I want you to talk to Optimus in the morning."

"Yes sir." I replied sarcastically.


	19. Chapter 19

Star has a breakdown! I don't own Transformers.

"All right, Starscream, it's about time you leveled with us." Prime folded his arms.

This was unfair. I was outnumbered and outsized.

I was sitting on a chair in the human rec while Swindle lounged on the floor beside me. He'd been worried about how exhausted I was when I came in, but after a snooze, I felt fine.

Optimus was kneeling on the floor in front of me, while Jetfire leaned against the wall to his left.

Great, I was in the company of the head honchos of this base. I felt so honored.

Jetfire was probably smirking under his mask as he added, "Come on, Screamer. I bet you've got a good story to tell us."

I decided to not say what had happened between Alexis and me the night beofre. I'd probably have to endure hearing jokes left and right after that. "Well, Alexis took me to her place and we ate, then she told her dad that I lived near her, so he let her walk me home."

"Why didn't she take Sureshock?" Optimus asked.

I shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe she's not aloud to drive around after dark."

"If she wasn't, then her dad made an exception the last time." Prime mused.

"I think she had a reason." Jetfire chimed in again, chuckling a little before he said that.

"Wait, what do you mean?" I challenged.

"Nothing. So, what happened next?"

Raising an eyebrow at him, I continued, "We walked and talked, and after we were about four houses over, my head felt like it was about to explode, and I passed out."

"Again?" Optimus asked. I was actually surprised that he didn't sounded irritated, just worried.

"What do you think we should do?" Jetfire asked.

I shrugged again, and Prime hesitated, thinking, his hand covering his optics. After a while, he let it slide off. "We can have Red Alert check your brain waves, Starscream."

I jumped up from the chair, knocking it over. Swindle beeped next to me in surprise.

"Oh no, I am NOT letting myself get strapped down and have all these wires jammed every which way in my head 'til Primus knows when!" I yelled, jabbing a finger in my leader's direction.

The truck sighed. "I understand what you mean, Starscream, but we have to find out what's wrong with you. What if you pass out at the wrong time, like when you were flying?" he stressed the last few words.

"Well, maybe if I can figure out these strange dreams that I have while I'm passed out, I'll stop." I probably sounded completely psycho when I said that, but that was the only idea I had.

"Wait, what?" asked Jetfire, raising his head.

"Remember when he passed out as a transformer?" Optimus asked.

"Oh yeah, and he had that crazy dream?"

"Excuse me, I'm still down here!" I called up.

"Sorry."

Uprighting the chair and then sitting back down on it, I sighed, "Guess I gotta explain that too, huh?"

"Would probably be helpful if you did." Sorry Jetfire, but you'll never be as snarky as me.

I told them about the fight I had seen again, and how weird it was that Aura had been meeting with Blackflare after the fight. I thought I saw a sign of recognition  
in Optimus's optics as I told him that, but I wasn't surprised. I described Aura's hands and her connection to Prowl, and even commented on how little I knew about Blackflare. Finally, I told them about how Blackflare flew off with Aura in his arms. Even now I'm not known to talk that much, but I wanted to find out what all this meant.

The two mechs exchanged a glance, and seemed to be debating something unsaid that I couldn't understand. Why couldn't everyone just say what they needed to? That'd make everything easier!

Finally, Prime looked at me, and when he spoke, there was pain in his voice. "Starscream, Aura's dead. She was murdered by Demolishor."

XXXXXX

"You got anything else for me, Primus?! Huh? Come on, go ahead! I'll take what you dish out!" I screamed up at the sky.

"Easy, Starscream. You'll blow a cir-I mean a, a..."

"Blood vessel, Swindle." I growled.

"Yeah, that."

Currently, I was fed up with everything. I was a freak, Rad was being a thorn in my side when it came to Alexis, I couldn't understand why I felt that way about him, I had all of these strange emotions clogging up my mind, Megatron was still alive out there, and I was getting dreams about a dead femme!

Oh, and the good side was that I could fly as long as someone watched me after had explained what had happened the rest of the night before and endured a long lecture about nearly blowing my cover. Yay.

All I could get out of Prime and Jetfire was that Aura was dead. Period. They wouldn't say anything about Blackflare or how she died.

As for Prowl, I'd only met him once in battle. He was a cold-hearted and calculating fighter, making me have to retreat from him after only hitting him once or twice. He wasn't at all like the concerned mentor I had heard and Aura had talked about during the dreams.

The war had changed us all, but I couldn't get rid of the feeling that Optimus and Jetfire were hiding something from me. But as my leaders, they were supposed to look out for me and help me figure out the dreams, right? Oh wait, who was I to talk about leaders that actually cared about me after I'd been pushed around and beaten on in the past? But still, Optimus Prime seems like the ultimate goody-goody. I'd've been surprised if he actually had been hiding something from me.

"Starscream!" Hot Shot's yell broke into my thoughts.

"What?" I yelled irritatedly down as he transformed out of his car form.

"Optimus just told me that a new Mini-Con's been activated! We'll need you to help us find it!"

I gave him a suspicious look. Sure, I could fit into small spaces that huge transformers could never even dream to go into, even if they were small cars or motorcycles, but still, I didn't think that Hot Shot of all mechs would want me to come along. And Optimus? Well, wasn't he just worried about me passing out earlier?

He extended a hand toward me. "Well, are you coming or not?"

Excitement and slight anxiety shown in his optics.

I nodded a second later and hopped onto his hand, Swindle following me.

I couldn't help but feel a grin spread across my face. I would be giving Megatron a little visit from the grave.


	20. Chapter 20

Finally, some action! It was fun to write the part with Cyclonus! I don't own Transformers.

"I. Feel. Stupid." I mumbled to myself as we came out of the warp gate. I was wearing one of those tacky uniforms that the kids wore when they were brought on missions. It was supposed to make us easier to find. Well, the Decepticons can find us pretty easily then too, huh?

"Quit the whinin', Starscream. It could've been worse."

Yup, I was riding riding inside of Hot Shot, with Swindle beside me in the passenger seat. It felt weird just watching the wheel turn back and forth in front of me, and worst of all, I couldn't touch anything. If I did, Hot Shot would just change it back to how he wanted it.

"Say that again..." I growled.

"You're setting yourself up, Screamer." Swindle laughed as he said that.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. We're here now, so can you let me out?"

"Sure."

"Ack!" I yelped as said annoying mech's door I was leaning on opened, my seatbelt (which felt very uncomfortable) flew off, and out I fell.

Luckily, I put out my arms to catch myself before I got a mouthful of grass.

Hot Shot laughed as he let Swindle out. "Sorry, Starscream."

"Whatever." I muttered as he transformed and Swindle sped over to me in dragster form.

I scanned where we were. We were around a wide river, so wide actually that there was a small island with a few tress and rocks on it. Cliffs lined with grass and leafy trees bordered the area. Further down to my right, the cliffs wrapped around a corner as the river turned. No sign of an bright green glow.

"Looks like the Decepticons aren't here yet, sir."

"They might be hiding, too. Auotbots, search for the Mini-Con, but stay alert too."  
Like Optimus really needed to order that. It was standard procedure.

As everyone split up, I climbed onto Swindle, still a dragster.

"Where should we check?" he asked.

"The island. It's too small for the Autobots to completely look at. We jump that rock there and land it."

"All right!" Swindle revved his engine, then sped off as I held onto his tail from where I sat on top of him.

He cleared the rock with ease and landed on nice, hard ground.

Letting go of his tail, I swung my legs over the side of him and landed on my feet, allowing him to transform.

We were on the island's edge, near a clump of trees. I thought a saw a bird over my head, but it turned out to be Laserbeak, who landed on my shoulder.

Just then, I heard a very loud and crazy laugh come from the sky.

"We've got company!" I yelled, ripping off my choker.

"Starscream, don't even think about it!" came a yell from Laserbeak.

I sighed in exasperation. "Can't I just scare the crap out of the Decepticons, Optimus?"

"Stay there, Starscream! That's an order!"

"That's an order." I mimicked as soon as I was sure that he was done lecturing me.

"What do you want to do?" Swindle asked.

I grinned at him. "What do you think?"

"You gonna be okay, though?" he asked.

Gunshots erupted from above us, and we dove behind a rock.

"Can't figure that out until I try." I replied through gritted teeth, brushing Laserbeak off my shoulder.

"What about me?"

I looked over at my partner, suddenly very worried. I hadn't thought about that. If I left Swindle alone, he could be taken, but if I took him with me, worse things could happen. But still, I didn't want to just play scavenger hunt.

"Grab onto my wings and hold on tight!" I ordered.

Swindle nodded quickly, and I jumped into the air, rocketing over the trees.

A shadow flew over me for a brief moment, and I looked up, smiling evilly. Cyclonus was going to get a little surprise.

"Are you okay so far?" Swindle asked.

I nodded. "Hold on, time for a little fun!"

As I zoomed off in the helicopter's direction, I felt a little tired. Oh well, I knew could just land on him and take a little break.

As soon as I came near the 'copter's tail, I slowed down, tracking his movements carefully. Knowing Cyclonus, he could veer off anywhere at any given time.

"Take that, Autobot scum!" he yelled as he let out another volley of shots, laughing like a maniac.

While he was distracted, I flew under the tail, curved to the right, and swooped down, hanging onto the bar underneath the cockpit to get some of my energy back. I was tired, but not dead tired. I wondered why I was getting my ability to fly back so quickly.

"Don't look down." I whispered in my partner's audio receptor as I let go of the bar, caught myself, and flew directly under the nose of the cockpit, the propeller above me drowning out all other noise.

Suddenly, Cyclonus spun halfway as a red shot pierced the sky. "Ya gotta do better than that!" he mocked, shooting downward.

Jetfire wasn't airbourne on either side. Glancing down for a brief moment, I saw him lower than I was, and in a sort of dogfight with Tidal Wave. Luckily, he was too busy to notice me.

While Cyclonus shot like a blind mech, I waited.

Finally, I swooped up and smashed the glass of his cockpit by kicking through it, screaming, "Remember me?!"

"What the-?!" Cyclonus whirled in the air, trying to grab at me with one of his hands.

Swindle sniggered as I let him down. The psycho couldn't reach back into his cockpit, now could he?

"Hmm...What does this do?" I wondered out loud, grabbing the joystick and shoving it downward, my wings barely catching myself as I fell upward in the cockpit, nearly banging my head off the ceiling. Swindle had grabbed my wing just in the nick of time.

Meanwhile, Cyclonus was screaming his head off. "Get out of me! AAH! Stop it!"

Currently, Swindle and I were hitting every button we could find with mixed results.

I had to keep an eye out in case my "fellow Decepticon comrade" would try to do anything crazy to get us to knock it off, so the only thing that I saw that changed was the helicopter's movement. Probably to anyone else who saw, they'd be wondering just how much energon this poor 'Con had taken in.

I almost felt sorry for the mech I was terrorizing. The only thing he could do was try to fix what we messed up so he wouldn't kill himself. He also tossed a few choice words at us, too, but didn't know who we were. I guessed he wasn't paying attention earlier.

Either way, we stopped immediately when I heard the beast's voice over Cyclonus's com link.

"Just what in the name of Primus are you doing up there?!"

"Hello, Megatron!" I yelled over-cheerfully.

Then came a long pause, in which Cyclonus begged Megatron for no punishment because it wasn't his fault.

"Silence!" the tyrant ordered, then let out a titanic bellow, "KILL HIM!"

Swindle and I were flung to the side as Cyclonus rolled, opening the cockpit's door.

I dove down aways to get under Swindle, then flung myself up so he'd grab on.

"DIE STARSCREAM!" Cyclonus yelled at us, shooting all over the joint.

So he had been paying attention.

"Hang on!" I yelled, then flipped backwards and dove down to avoid the shots, narrowly missing Sideswipe in car mode, driving like crazy. Uh-oh.

"You can't run forever!" came Wheeljack's yell.

I jerked my head up and saw him aiming his gun at Sideswipe and shooting, his bullet grazing the car's right side, who in turn let out a groan.

Growling in anger, I rocketed up, screaming at the top of my lungs, "WANNA BET?!"

Surprised, Wheeljack actually turned to look at me.

"Swindle, let go, NOW!"

"Oops, I dropped my Mini-Con!"

The black car dove to grab the freebie, which I caught at the last second and skidded to the side, causing him to hit a clump of trees and a large boulder on the edge of them head on. Ouch.

That's when I saw the boulder rolling toward us, and at the same time, I felt how tired I was like a punch to the gut. The air rushed out of my lungs, and I felt myself hit the ground (I wasn't that far up) as Swindle screamed my name, sounding on the brink of freaking out. I was just too tired.

Then, as the boulder was right on top of us, a small mechnical hand grabbed me, and I was jerked out of the way just in time, Swindle gripped hard on my ponytail, missing my wings in his frenzy. I let out a small scream of pain.

I realized that I was now sitting on something, and looking up showed that it was Sideswipe's hand.

"Optimus, I've got the Mini-Con!"

"You got Starscream and Swindle too?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'll see you at the base."

"Woo-hoo." I mumbled tiredly, feeling Swindle slump over my shoulder.


	21. Chapter 21

Sorry I've been away for a while! I've been busy with work! I don't own Transformers.

I couldn't remember when Optimus lectured and punished me. I was so tired, I only got the words "could've killed yourself," "what were you thinking," and "stay in the base for-(I stopped listening because I fell asleep)."

I felt like slag. For two whole days, I did nothing but sleep.

As I slept, I felt like I was falling in and out of the normal world and my dreams.

XXXXXX

At some points, I heard the others talking.

"It's official, Starscream's crazy." I was too tired to yell a retort at Hot Shot.

"Yeah, but he saved my hide, and the Mini-Con's, too." came Sideswipe's voice.

"I guess he's not that bad, then, huh?" Thank you Captain Obvious.

XXXXXX

Other times, I felt like I was laying in darkness with splashes of light showing the rec room I was sleeping in through them, so I was half awake.

XXXXXX

Then there were the few times that I did dream. Mostly Skyfire appeared in them, but Alexis also did twice.

Whenever he appeared, he'd always be floating above me, too high to reach in the middle of a windstorm, and just HAD to be yelling something that sounded important to me, but its exact words got drowned out by the noise every time.

XXXXXX

The dreams about Alexis were strange and bordered on creepy.

In the first dream, I was chasing Jinx through a dark forest, really having no idea why. Yeah, okay... As we came to a cliff with a tree at its edge, she hopped into it, and I followed.

As I hauled myself to the top of the tree branch, Jinx scurried into Alexis's arms, who was sitting on the branch.

"Starscream, where were you?" she asked.

"I could ask you the same thing." I replied, reaching toward her, the cat's gold eyes boring into me the whole time.

A chill went up my spine as the cat's eyes turned a ruby red.

Before I could do anything, she bit my hand and let out an all-too-familiar evil laugh, my blood dripping from her teeth.

Alexis let out a yelp and threw Jinx out of her lap, crawling over to me when a branch swung and hit her, knocking her into the air.

I jumped out of the tree to fly and catch her, but a branch actually reached out and grabbed me.

Alexis's scream suddenly stopped as I head a sickening crack, and the branch turned me to face Jinx, who had actually merged into the tree.

I screamed at her, "How could you?!"

The only response I got was a malicious grin and those ruby eyes shining at me in the tree's bark.

When that dream was over and I was half asleep again, I thought that I may just have to let Red check my head.

XXXXXX

The second dream came later on. It was a pitch black scene, save for theames that were encircling me and who was currently glaring at: Rad. He matched my glare, though I could sense fear coming from him.

In my hands was a sword, very much like my wingsword, only it was on fire. The flames in the scene grew taller and the sword grew hotter as I grew angrier at him for a reason I couldn't understand.

Then, after how long I didn't know, the flames were about ten stories high, and the sword felt like metal taken directly out of a furnace turned to 100 degrees.

I ran toward him, lashing out with my weapon, not being able to control myself because my anger was so great.

Suddenly, Alexis came out of nowhere and grabbed my arm.

"Starscream, stop!!" she yelled, fear and worry showing in her eyes.

At first I tried to pull away from her, then stopped when I saw myself reflected in her eyes.

While hers were a dark green like they always were, mine were glowing red, much like Megatron's.

I felt the sword fall out of my hand as I felt fear overtake me, then let out a loud scream at what I had become.

Luckily, the dream ended then, and I found myself actually opening an eye from where I lay.

I felt physically better, but mentally I was really debating my sanity, as usual.  
Starscream goes psycho, what else is new?

My body didn't stay well very long, either. My head felt like it was being clamped in a vice once more, and I shrieked, "Primus, not again!!!"

XXXXXX

I felt like I was in a sea, and that sea was screaming, shooting, bleeding, punching, kicking, crawling, limping, dragging off, and dying. I knew where I was in a hearbeat: a battle on Cybertron, and a pretty nasty one at that. I ducked as a shot wizzed past my head.

I reached up and detatched my wingsword, wishing it had been flaming like in the dream right now.

Leaping up, I powered my jet boosters and came down on a Decepticon's head, the one that had shot at me, digging my blade into his shoulder. Payback was sweet.

"GET OFF ME!"

I leapt off of who I was on, and spun in the air, looking around. I'd heard Aura.

There!

Strange as it felt to go off saving an already dead soldier, I gunned my boosters and slammed into a gray and green mech with a very familiar head. Yup, it was Thrust.

Grinning, I slammed my sword into the side of his head, spinning him into a retreat.

Aura's fist slammed into Brawl, but all that managed to do was get him mad. He was hard to beat in battle even just by himself.

A third mech was smashed in the head by someone, and fell into Brawl, blocking his view.

"HEY! LET GO!" Aura was literally sliding away, her energon making a trail in front of her as she was dragged into the shadows.

I ran to save her, but was grabbed from behind by a certain cone-headed whackjob, and let out a frusturated yell. Where was Prowl when you needed him?

The scene broke, and I fell into darkness.

XXXXXX

When I woke up this time, I was still a transformer, but the atmosphere was much safer. I was laying in a pile of parts beneath a crumbling wall in a back alley somewhere.

A light illuminated a small area, but kept me in shadow.

In that area was Aura, lying on her back, with metal patches on different parts of her energon-stained armor. If she'd been left with all those gashes open, she would have been died soon. I wondered what it took Demolishor to kill her and felt some of my anger build up again. What for the billionth time was wrong with me?

I had a feeling who had dragged her away.

"Why did you save me?" she asked the darkness, and a familiar chuckle came from it. Just as I thought: Blackflare.

"Didn't you want to live?"

"Yeah, but what the slag were you thinking?! You could've gotten us both killed!"

"Oh, and Brawl wouldn't have killed you first?"

I saw a part of the shadow move into the light and take the shape of a black Seeker's body with red optics, currently having its arms folded. The symbols on the body made me feel ready to scream, "WHAT THE FREAKING PIT IS GOING ON HERE?!!"

"Why are you helping me?" she asked, "You and I both know very well that you are no hero, Blackflare."

"Well, I'll show you why." He replied in a teasing tone and came toward her. Slowly, he bent over and kissed her.

I was expecting Aura to push him off, but instead returned the kiss, wrapping an arm around him.

It felt really weird to be watching them like this, especially after what I had just found out about the black mech.

I didn't have to watch much longer because the dream was fading away.

XXXXXX

"Starscream, are you okay?"

I opened my eyes slowly and nodded at Swindle, heaving myself up.

"Good news," I muttered, "I'm not tired anymore."

"You had those headaches again, though, and you look like Megatron is right in front of you. What happened?"

I looked down at him, narrowing my eyes. "Swindle, Blackflare was a Decepticon."


	22. Chapter 22

Finally, Starscream gets his weapon back! I don't own Transformers.

"Wow, you really jumped in Cyclonus and messed up his controls?" Billy asked.

I nodded, trying to ignore my throbbing forehead. "He whirled around and shrieked his head off. I don't think any of us will let him live that one down anytime soon."

After having full day and a half without knowing what had been going on at the battle, the kids practically buried me in questions. After about five minutes of this, my head was already starting to hurt. Even taking each question one at a time wasn't helping anymore. Why me?

I rubbed the side of my head from where I sat as Carlos exclaimed, "Man, Optimus shouldn't've punished you for that! That was awesome! I wish we were there!"

"Yeah!" Fred added, chomping on about three chips at once. At this point, I was used to seeing him gorge.

"Um, hello? He could've killed himself!" Alexis yelled. She'd been quiet while she listened to my story, and now I could tell why. She'd been worried, big time. Slag.

I sighed from where I stood near her, muttered, "I'm sorry," and reached out to squeeze her hand like when we'd said good-bye three nights ago.

Rad stopped that from happening by adding a tersely, "Exactly. Starscream just got lucky this time. If he keeps on passing out, he won't be of much use to the Autobots."

My hand fell to my side, clenched in a fist. My blood boiled, roaring in my ears. My energon did the same, making my wings twitch.

"Rad, that was very rude! What's gotten into you?!" Alexis snapped, her hands on her hips.

"Yeah! You haven't been acting yourself since Tuesday! What's your problem?" Carlos asked, crossing his arms and glaring.

Fred opened his mouth to say something, but Billy put a hand in front of him, shook his head, and motioned for him to come over to the other side of the room to leave us alone. This was between us.

Highwire, Grindor, and Sureshock were in a frenzy, trying to get us to calm down. Meanwhile, Swindle asked, "Want me to beat the slag out of him?"

I shook my head tightly and pointed away from us, muttering, "Talk to you later."

Nodding slowly, he transformed and drove away, the other Mini-Cons following after him, seeing that there was nothing to stop this.

Carlos let a frusturated sigh. "Well, if you guys don't work it out, then I don't know what I'm gonna do." He walked away with a deep scowl on his face. I decided to leave Rad to worry about that.

"Alexis, why don't you leave us alone for a while?" Rad asked, turning his head to glare at me full in the face.

"Because I'm not an idiot!" she retorted, stamping her foot, glancing from one of us to the other, looking like she was ready to tear us both to pieces.

I matched Rad's glare. "Why don't we talk in private?" I growled through gritted teeth, my wings twitching more and more.

He shrugged, then nodded.

Alexis let out an exasperated sigh, turning on her heel and walking away, shooting a look over her shoulder that I didn't catch.

"Let's go." I murmured when she was out of earshot, and he nodded again, walking into another room, with me following behind.

So, what's with your attitude toward me?" I managed to ask. What I really wanted was to punch him in the mouth and ask what the freaking slag was his problem with me.

"Well, let's see. Oh yeah. Ever since you decided to try and walk out on us, you've been causing Alexis pain!"

"I've heard this little lecture from you before! You got any new material, pal?" I  
asked, raising an eyebrow.

Now his fists clenched by his sides. "It should be pretty obvious to you, Starscream."

"Humor me."

"You want her. I know you do."

I felt ready to strangle him. Since when did he know what I wanted?

"Newsflash: I want to kill Megatron, not waste my time with a human."

"You sure are having a good time doing it, though. Having her ponytail your hair...Having her take you over to her place to eat...Having her fly on you..." He ticked them off on his fingers.

My wings were waving back and forth now, but he wasn't paying attention. Bad move, Rad.

"Well, I've got news for you, Screamer. Alexis belongs with us, not you. Why does she even like having you around, anyway?"

CLANG!

Both of us jumped because we were so focused on being angry at each other.

Looking down at the floor near my left leg, I felt my eyes widen. My wingsword lay on the floor, thanks to my being so angry.

Bending down, I picked it up. It felt a little heavier than it used to, but then again I was a human holding metal, not a transformer holding metal.

Swinging the blade, I made it stop in front of me, pointing it up in the air between Rad and me.

"So, wanna insult me again?" I challenged, feeling a grin spread across my face.


	23. Chapter 23

To answer another question that was raised among the reviews, Starscream's wingsword did shrink with him. Thanks for the questions, guys! It helps to fill in any plot holes I might've left! I don't own Transformers.

"Argh!" I screamed, slicing at anything in reach with my wingsword. I so angry I couldn't see straight. As dust and rock particles flew around me, I fell to my knees, my hands still gripping the sword, which was now embedded on its blade edge in the dirt, and panted hard, remembering the rest of my oh-so-wonderful afternoon.

XXXXXX

When my sword had fallen, I should've known that Alexis would have come to see what the noise was; she'd been closest to us. Yup, my common sense had gone down the drain again.

"STOP!"

As soon as I heard her, I threw the sword as far away from me as possible. I didn't want to see fires start sparking, let alone myself with Megatron's eyes. THAT made my skin crawl.

Before she could yell anything else, we heard, "I think that's about enough."

Whirling around, I saw Blurr leaning against an archway to one of the base's side halls, his dark blue armor blending in easily with the arch's shadow.

"You've been spying on us, haven't you?" I asked suspiciously.

"Starscream!" Alexis yelled.

"Wonder if he'll tell Optimus?" Rad mumbled.

Snapping my head around, I yelled, "I heard that!"

An exasperated sigh got my attention. "I wasn't planning on telling, as long as you two quit acting like sparklings squabbling over a single cube of energon."

Bending to the side, Blurr grabbed his sniper rifle and walked away.

Even after he'd left, none of us moved. Not until Alexis walked past me and grabbed my wingsword, holding it out to me.

"This is yours, isn't it?" she asked.

Gently, I took it from her as I felt Rad's eyes bore into my back.

"Let's see if it can go back." Holding it out to my left wing's stump, I took a moment to remember putting it back as a transformer, then slowly sheathed it into my wing's slot, clicking it into place.

"Why don't we let him practice, Alexis?" Rad was suddenly sounding happy and gracious again. Either he was being a thorn in my side, or he was bipolar. To tell the truth, I didn't know which was right.

She opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, I jumped in the air and flew away from them. At that point, I didn't want to care anymore. I just wanted to scream so hard that I'd put my own name to shame.

XXXXXX

To tell the truth, I knew why I hadn't tried pulling out my wingsword earlier. I'd known my wings were the same as they used to be when I first flew, so I should've tried pulling it that same day, right? Wrong. I'm not going to tell you why I didn't pull it. I don't think my pride would or will ever handle it.

"Starscream, you're going to keel over if you don't knock it off soon."

Narrowing my eyes, I looked out over the side of the cliff, scowling. "What do you want, Hot Shot?"

"I kinda wanted to tell ya to get back inside soon. Sun's setting."

"I've been out here that long? Where's Swindle?"

"He said that you wanted to be left alone. Technically you aren't supposed to be out here because Optimus said you couldn't leave the base for two weeks, but Swindle's covering for you." He rubbed the back of his neck, smiling his signature stupid smile as he said that.

I remembered how I'd treated Swindle earlier, and sighed, standing up, brushing the dirt off of my pants. "I can't believe I said that to him."

"Relax. Sometimes we all need me-time."

I braced my feet in the dirt, and with a grunt, yanked my wingsword out, shaking my head.

"Why not?"

Turning the sword from side to side on my knee to brush the dirt off, I looked up at him to see if he wasn't playing a trick on me. Nope. Same stupid smile.

"Why are you being so nice to me, Hot Shot?" I asked hardly. What could I say? This mech and I used to hate each other's guts/circuits.

He spotted a rock, flicked it with his finger, and watched it roll. "It seemed like the right thing to do."

I sheathed my weapon and undid my ponytail, shaking my hair out to get rid of most of the dust. "Since when is helping me the right thing?"

He sighed, then looked at me directly in the eyes as I tied my hair back again. "Okay, enough small talk."

"Yeah, I think that would help."

"Well, okay, I didn't like you all that much, especially after you decided to leave us."

"Don't remind me." I muttered, folding my arms.

"Trust me, I don't want to talk about it, either. But after you nearly got killed saving Alexis and became a human, then saved my bro when he was in a tight spot, well, I realized that you weren't such a bad guy after all. Even if you do sometimes act like one, no offense."

"None taken, and um, oh yeah, are you out of your mind?"

"Are you?" he asked, widening an optic at me, faking suspicion, crossing his arms to mimic me. I had to try to not laugh.

I shrugged. "Maybe."

He laughed, holding out a hand. "Call it even?" he asked.

I hesitated, then slowly nodded and climbed onto his hand. Looking up, I could see a smile on his face.

Even though life was slagged up as usual, things felt a little okay. Hot Shot and I weren't friends because of our differences, but at least we had some support for each other. Good thing, too. I was going to need all the help I could get in my bizarre, ever-changing lifestyle.


	24. Chapter 24

Starscream and Alexis get a little moment together! I don't own Transformers.

Of all days, it had to be a Saturday. I really wasn't in the mood for seeing the kids again after Rad and I had had that fight, but they were coming to the base anyway. Ugh!

"Well, at least you can make up with Rad." Hot Shot suggested.

"Yeah, like that'll happen anytime soon." Swindle and I muttered.

"What? Rad's a good kid."

I sighed frusturatedly. "Has it dawned on you yet that I'm not?"

"Come on Starscream, it can't be that bad." Sideswipe put in.

I rolled my eyes. "You know, you aren't really helping."

I hadn't asked for advice and was wondering how these two found out about the fight. Oh, wait, Rad probably told them. They'd better not have told Prime about what had happened, or so help me...Then again, what could I do? I was the size of a Mini-Con.

I heard excited yells coming from the base's entrance and groaned. "Great, they're here."

The group was smaller. In fact, the only ones that came were Rad and Alexis, along with their Mini-Cons. Oh, great.

"Hey guys!" Rad waved up at the two mechs, but not at Swindle and myself, even though we were in plain sight. Figured.

"Where's the rest of the gang?" Hot Shot asked.

Alexis got off of Sureshock, who transformed. "Carlos didn't want to come, Billy's working on a project at home, and Fred's helping him." She frowned as she said the first part, looking over at me. She wasn't angry, just sad about what was going on right now.

"Hey, where's Laserbeak? I need to send something to Carlos." Rad asked, still not looking at me. I may as well have been part of a wall.

I slapped my hand to my forehead, cussing.

Swindle looked up at me. "What?"

"I left Laserbeak on that island!"

"You did what?!" Alexis and Sideswipe chroused.

"Oh, great, Red Alert's really gonna like this." Hot Shot muttered.

Rad glared at me. I finally had his attention. Great.

"What? Didn't he know that earlier?" Sideswipe asked.

"Nah. He's been real busy with Optimus and Jetfire. We're bound to find out what's going on between those three sooner or later. If he knew about it, he's not worrying right now."

Something else to worry about. I really needed a break, or I was going to crack.

"I guess I'll go get him." I started walking away.

"You remember where he was?" Swindle asked, coming after me.

"Um...By the rock on the island?"

He sighed. "We're doomed."

Shrugging, I looked back over my shoulder and asked for some help. I couldn't just use the warp gate on my own, now could I?

Hot Shot came after me.

"Don't tell me I have to wear one of those uniforms again." I growled.

He laughed. "Gee, you sound like you really want to."

I gave him a look.

"Okay, okay. No, you don't. It'll just be the three of us, so I don't have to worry about losing you."

I tapped my foot as he got the warp gate ready. If any of the other Autobots happened to walk in the room, I'd be busted and probably grounded in the base for life. Wait a minute, I was grounded there already!

"Uh, Hot Shot, you know I'm not supposed to leave here, right?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Then why are you taking me to find Laserbeak?"

He shrugged. "You looked like you could use the air."

Well, that'd work. I wouldn't have to worry about Sideswipe saying anything either because those two were close.

"Hey, Starscream!"

I jumped.

"Relax, it's just me."

I was surprised to see Alexis as I turned around. "What're you doing here?"

"Helping you guys look for Laserbeak. The quicker we find him, the less chance there'll be that you'll get in trouble."

"All right, let's go!"

Quickly, we hopped in Hot Shot's car form and warped out. I decided to ask questions later.

XXXXXX

"You sure you left Laserbeak by this rock?" Alexis asked for the second time, folding her arms.

I glared up at her. "Just help me dig."

Sighing, she knelt down beside me while I grabbed at little rocks and dirt, throwing them aside.

She watched for a few seconds, then grabbed my dirty hands. "There's no way Laserbeak got buried that far down. The ground's too muddy."

"And since when do you know everything?"

"Since when do you?"

We were both frusturated. I'd thought finding a bright-colored machine was supposed to be easy. Apparently I was wrong.

"Okay, genius, then where do you think it is?"

She pointed over to where Sureshock had wandered further down the island, looking out over the river. "Laserbeak probably got swept away because of how close you guys were to the water."

What could I say? Her guess was as good as mine.

I got up and wiped my hands off on my pants. "All right, let's go look."

I beckoned Swindle over from the other side of the rock. "Look around with Sureshock. We're gonna fly."

XXXXXX

"Ready?" I asked after I took off my choker.

"Just be careful, okay?"

I grinned at her, and she sighed, clambering onto me.

"So how did you get out of the base?" I asked. I'd been too flustered to ask earlier.

"I'd told Rad and Sideswipe that I'd catch up with them later because I had to ask Scavenger something."

"Lucky you. I had to sneak out."

"Well, if you hadn't been such a daredevil then you wouldn't have to." she mumbled irritably. I was tired of fighting with her.

"Hey, look!" She pointed down at a small bright orange shape caught in a fallen tree's branches jutting into the river.

Slowly, I swooped down, reaching for it. It was Laserbeak all right.

"Wonder if he'll still work?" Alexis asked.

I pressed a button on him, and a small electirical sparking, complete with steam, was the result. "Guess not. Now I'll have to tell Red that it's my fault that he broke."

"Just tell him it was an accident."

I looked over my shoulder at her. "Who are you and what have you done with Alexis?"

She laughed as I pocketed him, then said, "I did want to ask you something out here."

"What?" I asked, swooping back up.

"Well, my school's having a spring dance. It'll be a lot of fun if you came with us."

Okay, what was with her? "First of all, I don't go to your school. Second, I can't dance. Third, and most importantly, I've just been making things worse for you guys."

"I didn't say you had to stay with the group, plus the dance is for all teenagers, and not everyone dances while they're there. Look, if you want to go, meet me at my place at seven this Friday night."

"Why do you want me to come?"

"Because I want you to have fun, Starscream!" she exclaimed. I felt her grin against the side of my head.

"You're a very strange human, Alexis." I murmured as we flew back to the island to pick up our Mini-Cons.

Me at a dance? Primus no!


	25. Chapter 25

I don't own Transformers.

"Something on your mind, Starscream?"

I jerked my head up. I'd been pacing and thinking, and guess who saw me doing that? Optimus Prime. Oh, great, I was gonna get it.

XXXXXX

Yesterday didn't end with us bringing Laserbeak back, even though the day after I wished that it had.

When we came back to the base, no one caught us, but Alexis had to get back to Rad before he started looking for her.

Before she did, though, I made probably one of the stupidest split-second decision in my life: I stopped her and told her that I'd come to the dance.

Wonderful. I was going to make a fool of myself, and added to that I had to worry about sneaking out of the base again without getting caught and becoming a hybrid vegetable for the rest of my life. On the other hand, I didn't want Rad in spitting distance of Alexis at the dance without me there. I knew how these gatherings worked from similar ones that I'd seen the Autobots do on Cybertron. Anyway, added to that, seeing the grin on Alexis's face when I'd told her yes lit me up.

Now if I could just somehow make this work and erase Rad off the face of the planet...

XXXXXX

"So what's going on between you two?" After she'd left, Hot Shot had taken Swindle and me to his quarters so he could fix up Laserbeak with our help. Plus, he couldn't squeeze the water out of the bird without busting him.

I tensed where I was holding two wires apart, nearly dropping them together again. "What's it to ya?"

"Come on, Starscream, you and Rad went at it, and now you're going to a dance? The four of us (fourth was Jolt) know that you wouldn't be caught dead there." He wasn't kidding, but I wished that he'd just let it go.

"Let me handle it." I muttered as Jolt pushed a small screwdriver in-between them.

"Question: How are you gonna get outta the base?"

Swindle raised his hand.

"Other than on him. If Optimus sees Swindle missing, he'll know that something's up."

My partner let his hand fall. I gave him a thanks-for-trying look.

"So what's the matter with you?"

I was quiet for a while, then sighed. "I don't know."

"Can you be a little vaguer?"

I snapped my head up and growled, "I don't know, okay?! For your information, I've never known anything about myself, save for a few things, thanks to that bastard, Megatron! How am I supposed to know how I truly feel for someone, let alone how she feels for me?!"

"Calm down, Starscream," Hot Shot said, holding his hands out in front of him as I panted from my rant, "Sorry I asked."

"You should be." I mumbled, getting back to work, wishing I could just fly far away from there, up to the Moon, and take out my anger on Megatron.

XXXXXX

Early the next day Laserbeak was finished, and I'd snuck into the med bay, flew up onto Red Alert's desk, and dropped him there. I hadn't seen him around, so I thought he was probably still yammering with Prime and Jetfire. I hadn't wanted Hot Shot to handle it, in case he happened to have a slip-up.

Later on in the human rec room I'd started thinking about yesterday, then got to pacing with Swindle watching me and trying to offer some advice when Prime came in.

"Nothing, sir." I said half-heartedly, still wrapped up in my thoughts.

That only made it worse.

"Then why were you pacing earlier?"

I couldn't come with a believable excuse, so instead I replied evenly, "Why do you care?"

"Because you're a member of the Autobots, and I have to look out for my team."

"By keeping secrets from us?"

He stiffened when I said that. "What do you mean?"

"Just what were you three talking about?"

Optimus loosened up a little. "Starscream, I can't tell you right now, I'm sorry."

"Let me guess, you'll leave me out of the loop and tell everyone else."

He sighed in frusturation. "You have to learn to trust me."

"How can I? Optimus, I'll never be like one of you. You should know that by now."

I watched his optics widen in surprise. "Who told you that?"

Leaning against the wall, I sighed. "Look at me. I'm part human, part transformer. I used to be a Decepticon, and now I'm an Autobot. I don't fit in well anywhere." I couldn't believe that those words came out of my mouth. Was I really feeling that bad? Whoa.

"Starscream, why don't tell me what's been going on?" Prime asked, sitting on the floor. He didn't look like he was going to leave anytime soon.

After a while, I nodded. I told him about the fight with Rad, Hot Shot and I callling it even, and Alexis inviting me to the dance.

"Why didn't I know about the fight?" he asked worriedly.

"Don't get mad at Blurr. He saw it and said he wouldn't tell if we'd stop behaving like sparklings. I don't think that'll happen anytime soon, though."

"You know that you have to stay here at the base, don't you?"

I slowly nodded, then clenched my fists. "Yeah, but I'll go anyway! I don't want anything to happen between those two!" That strange feeling for Alexis was driving me again.

"The way you are, Starscream, I don't think any of us will be able to stop you. All right, you can go, but just for that night." He sounded much older as he said that. Oh, great, I was making my leader age prematurely.

My eyes widened, and my fists unclenched. "You're serious?'

He nodded. "Just don't do anything stupid, all right?"

I smiled a little. "Deal."

"Hey, Optimus!"

I jumped up at Alexis's voice as she sped into the rec room on Sureshock.

Prime got up, looking like he normally did again. "Good to see you. I thought you were going to the movies with the others?"

She shrugged. "I felt sick earlier, so I called and cancelled."

"It's all right. We'll keep you entertained." Swindle reassured her.

She and Sureshock laughed as I rolled my eyes at him, then Optimus turned and left, apologizing that he had to leave because something just came up. Typical.

"You ready?" she asked me suddenly.

"For what?" I asked, surprised and a little suspicious.

"To learn how to dance!"

Swindle laughed. "Bust a move, Screamer!"

If looks could kill, he would have been lying in a molten heap at my feet.


	26. Chapter 26

This chapter actually went through more edits than the others have. It was fun to write this chapter, but it was hard to detail Starscream and Alexis's moment correctly. After a few tries, however, I got it just the way I wanted it. A new character, Holly, is introduced here. She will play a minor role. I don't own "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne, "Don't Fear the Reaper," HIM's cover version of the hit Blue Oyster Cult song, or Transformers.

"I can't believe I actually considered doing this." I mumbled as I stared at the mask in my hand.

"Come on, Screamer, you actually want to chicken out of this?" Swindle teased.

I rolled my eyes. "Will I chicken out? No. Make a fool of myself? Yes."

It was the night of the dance, and I just wanted to get it over with.

XXXXXX

Alexis had told me during our first dance lesson after I tripped and fell a few times, nearly bringing her down with me once, that it was a masquerade dance, which meant I could have my wings out for balance because most of the other people there would be wearing costumes and masks.

Okay, let me get this straight. The one time I was accepted by human society was when everyone was running around dressing like freaks and hiding their faces behind masks? Yeah, that really boosted my self-esteem.

Afterwards, I didn't fall when I danced, but I was very stiff. I just couldn't get into it, no matter how much Alexis tried to get me to relax. Why? Because I felt like an idiot, even though I didn't want to tell her. That being said, I was actually glad that I got to wear a mask.

XXXXXX

Alexis had gotten the mask for me. It was black, covered half of my face horizontally, and was pointed on its edges to make it look fierce, which I thanked her for.

As far as my outfit went, I wore only black clothes because they would blend in with the darkness more easily.

I stuck the mask in my pocket. I could put it on at the dance.

"You about ready to go?" Sideswipe asked. I'd asked him to take us because Hot Shot stuck out like a sore thumb at night.

"As I'll ever be."

Turning to Swindle, I joked, "Think you can last a night without me?"

"It won't last long enough." he joked back, waving as I climbed in.

XXXXXX

"Evening, Gabe. Alexis said you'd be on your way." Dennis greeted as he let me in. He still sounded a little friendly, but was more tense now. Me and my big mouth.

After a little while, I sighed. "Look, I shouldn't have asked you all those questions. I didn't mean any harm."

"I understand, but you need to control your words." His voice dropped a little and he gave me a firm look. I really didn't know what to make of this guy.

"Hey!" came Alexis's voice from the hallway.

Turning, I felt my throat tighten for a few seconds.

Alexis was wearing a long scarlet dress, her mask the same color. Her hair was smoothed out and shiny, and on her back were two bright red outlines of buttefly wings.

"Glad you got here, Gabriel! You ready to hit the dance?" she asked cheerfully.

I nodded, trying to pull myself back together.

Dennis hugged his daughter. "No later than ten, okay?"

"Sure!"

Finally, I was able to talk. "Come on, Alexis."

XXXXXX

"You sure were quiet, Starscream. You okay?" Alexis asked as we got out of Sideswipe.

"Yeah." I simply replied, not wanting to say anything else as he drove away. I'd already told him to pick us up at a quarter to ten.

She stopped walking, and I turned to face her.

"Seriously, what is it?" she asked again, folding her arms.

"It's nothing." She raised an eyebrow. Ugh. Why couldn't she just drop it?

Finally, I replied, "How you look."

She dropped her arms and looked a little hurt. "I look bad, don't I?"

"No, no! You look...well...great." I wanted to say something else, but once again my pride wouldn't let me.

She smiled softly, her eyebrow falling back down. "Thanks. You do, too."

"Pfft. Yeah, right."

"Hey, you're comfortable, and black looks good on you. Oh, speaking of which, you have your mask?"

I pulled it out of my pocket and was about to put it on when she took it out of my hand.

"Here, I can see what I'm doing."

Gently, she slid the mask on my face, then led me up to the school where a line of students was jutting out of.

The nearest ones to us were a girl dressed as a black cat, and a boy dressed as a lion, mane and all. Well, at least I didn't stand out that much compared to him.

When it was our turn, we were asked for our names, which were written down on a checklist. I didn't like to be tracked, but I also didn't want to get caught and stir up trouble.

Inside, it was very hard to see, the only lights being blue, purple, pink, green, yellow, and red strobe lights that swiveled to the beat of a fast and loud song. I didn't have to worry about blending in; I could barely see Alexis next to me.

"Hey, guys!" a figure bounced up and down in the shadows, waving at us with Carlos's voice.

Making our way over to him through the sea of fast-moving creatures, we saw him inside a suit of armor, its visor open.

"Where's everyone else?" Alexis asked.

"Fred made a beeline for the snacks, Billy's trying to ask that bunny rabbit over there to dance, and I haven't seen Rad yet." He sounded testy as he said Rad's name. Things were still bad between them.

"Might as well dance instead of just standing around here." Alexis commented.  
"Can't. This armor and fast movements don't mix. I think I'll just supervise the ladies."

"Just try not to get a whack in the nose this time, okay?" Alexis grumbled.

He shrugged and walked over to a group of girls.

I rolled my eyes at him, then felt Alexis pulling me toward the middle of the dance floor, my boots skidding on the polished wood.

"Hey!"

"Come on, Gabe!" She winked at me as the song's beat grew incredibly fast.

"What song is this, anyway?" I yelled over the noise.

"Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne!"

Alexis started to dance, whirling around a little too fast. I had to catch her before she hit someone.

"Take it easy!"

"If you'll lighten up and dance!"

"Oh, all right!" I grumbled reluctantly, letting go and swinging my body to the music, then copying Alexis's movements by putting my arms in the air, balling my hands into fists, but leaving my smallest and index fingers free on each. When she jumped in the air, I did as well, but actually went too high. Flipping forwards, I landed back on my feet.

"Dude, that was awesome!" somebody behind me yelled, and a cheer rose as the song ended.

"Okay, I think that's enough." I muttered. I needed to get out after pulling attention to myself.

"Why? You were amazing!" Alexis cried.

"But-Hey, wait, why is this one slow?" The new song had less than half the speed as the last one.

"Variety, I guess. I don't know this one."

Looking around, I saw most of the dancers leaving, and those that stayed were in couples.

"Hey, lookin' good guys!" Billy, now a snake, called as he danced by with a black-haired girl dressed as a rabbit.

"Dance with me?" Alexis asked. She was nearly drowned out as the male singer's voice came a little too loud: -Come on baby!-

Glancing around for Rad as a female added: -Don't fear the reaper!- I decided to keep Alexis close to me in case he showed up. He wasn't going to dance with her on my watch.

Remembering what she had taught me, slowly I led her around, feeling my shoulders get tired from my stiff arms. Slowly, I loosened up as the song's vocals cut for a while.

"You feeling better now?" she asked me.

I nodded.

-40,000 men and women everyday- (male)

-Like Romeo and Juliet- (female)

"I'm glad."

We didn't say anything after that, just danced. I didn't glance around for Rad as often. Right then, I just wanted to dance with her. That strange feeling was switching my focus again. Great.

-Lalalalalala, Lalalalalala- (both)

Slowly, I felt her hand slide up to my neck.

"What're you doing?"

"Making a choice." Alexis pressed her lips against mine as the song cut to instrumentals again.

I felt the feeling explode inside of me, driving my pulse up, forcing sweat down my back, and making it hard to breathe, more so than the last time. But at the same time, I didn't want to stop. I was trapped, and I liked it.

The sound of Rad clearing his throat behind me broke me out of that. Pulling out, I whirled on him. "What?!"

"Leave." His growl nearly matched the wolf that he was dressed as.

I felt her hand on my arm. "It's okay. I have to talk to him."

I shook my head. I wasn't stupid.

"Please." Alexis pleaded.

My fists unclenched, and I shouldered roughly by him, pushing through the crowd  
to the wall, which I leaned against, watching them reluctantly start to dance.

"Guess you don't get along with him, huh?"

A quick glance to the side showed a strobe light passing over a dark-skinned girl wearing a gold dress with two webbed wings sticking out of her back. A bee.

"What was your first clue?" I asked sarcastically, waiting for her to walk away.  
She didn't. In fact, she leaned against the wall beside me.

"Never really saw them as a couple, anyway."

"We're having this conversation why?" She was getting on my nerves.

She chuckled. "Because you like her, and I like him."

"And you are?"

"Holly Smith. Haven't seen you before."

"Gabe Avian. What're you, a stalker?"

"No. I just pay attention to my surroundings. Speaking of which...Is she okay?"

I was already dashing toward the two, ready to clock Rad. He'd let go of Alexis, who had in turn slid, falling to the floor. He was looking down at her with a confused expression on his face.

Whether he'd meant to hurt her or not, I didn't care. He was going to pay anyway.

Just as I got close to them, I felt pain explode in the back of my head. I hit the floor as I heard the female singer scream far above me. It fell away under me into darkness.


	27. Chapter 27

This dream sequence is quite gorey, sad to say. And then we have something bad happen. Let's face it, this chapter's depressing. I don't own Transformers.

I DID NOT want to be in the dream. I needed to give Rad a piece of my mind, not watch another tid-bit of a dead femme's life.

Of course, I couldn't leave, now could I?

Glancing up from where I was (big surprise) lying, I saw dim, flickering lights above me. The walls and floor were disgusting with drying energon and oil splashed on them. I knew exactly where I was: a prison, and from the look of it, a Decepticon prison. Just my luck.

I got up slowly, drawing my wingsword. I didn't hear anyone coming, but I had a feeling that I would need it anyway.

As I crept out of the alcove I was lying in, I felt something click. It was a Decepticon prison. Uh-oh. Aura must've gotten caught.

Slowly, I walked down the flight of stairs in front of me, trying to be as quiet as I could.

I'd been taken to a prison before to learn how to torture and kill Autobots. Red Alert was my experiment for the day. I couldn't bring myself to kill him, so I just cut off his hand instead. Another reason why the pile of slag with horns hated me.

When I got to the bottom, I heard haunting moans and groans. Most of the lights down there had gone out. Fresh energon dripped from the walls, which had doors with barred windows on each side. The mechs and femmes inside of them looked like lifeless piles of slag, some lying on the floor, others hanging from the wall inside of their cells. None of them looked like Aura, so I kept going.

I was about to turn the corner when I stopped myself.

I'd heard the cone-head talking, so I simply stood and listened.

"Lord Megatron will certainly be pleased with his new toy. Shockwave, how's the progress on finding Blackflare?"

Oh, great. I hated Shockwave to no end. I swear, the mech worshipped Megatron. He'd always tell me over and over that I would never be as perfect as Megatron (glad I'm not), so I should be eternally thankful that our oh-so-wonderful leader had taken me in. Ugh!

Luckily, his voice sounded distorted. Thrust was using his communicator.

"Unfortunately, no. We'll keep searching."

"Good."

I saw my chance as Thrust cut the transmission. My hand shot out and grabbed him, covering his mouth. I slammed my fist on top of his head, knocking him out.

Slowly, I put him down. Too bad I couldn't laugh at him without getting caught.

As I glanced at the door he'd been standing by, I saw her, and HIM, too.

Aura was strapped down to a medical table, energon pouring from her. She was in huge pain, so much so that she couldn't scream anymore. Her torso was very big. What was that all about? In back of her head was a mech with a gray face like a skull, looking down at her with red optics. Soundwave was next to her, holding a scalpel with energon running off of it. There was Demolishor. He looked younger and was shaking. And of course, there was the bastard standing back from the whole thing, sneering.

I knew it: Aura was going to die in that room. But still, that didn't mean I couldn't try to help her out and kick some aft while I was at it.

I didn't care about being sneaky; I just burst into the room.

Soundwave whirled on me and said in his creepy monotone voice, "Intruder."

"Demolishor, get rid of this nuisance!" Megatron yelled at him.

He ran over to me. I felt ready to laugh at him when I saw him closely.

Demolishor was half his size and very nervous. I shoved him to the side and ran to the table.

Something hit me in the side of my head, knocking me over.

"Sorry, pal!"

"Rumble, get the hell off me!" I yelled at the puny Decepticon.

I felt the other Cassettes hit me. Oh, great, attack of the midgets.

Suddenly, Aura let out a very loud scream.

"Crypt, now!" yelled the pile of slag I once called a leader.

I bent my elbow and rolled over, slicing at the tapes with my sword. They scattered, shrieking.

I jumped to my feet, and ducked as a shadow whizzed past my head. Soundwave had tried cutting me with the scalpel.

I spun low and stuck out my leg, which he kicked away. I fell over again. Come on, what was with me?!

This time when I glanced up, I saw the skull-faced mech walking over to the other side of the table, then the floor as Demolishor jumped on top of me.

I heard Aura screech as Megatron let out a nasty laugh.

I crooked my arm up, and Demolishor jumped off of me with a squeak.

Before I could get up, Rumble slammed my head back down. Couldn't I get a break?

The only other Autobot in the room continued to shriek as I thrashed around, swiping at Rumble and the other tapes that had climbed back on.

"LET HIM GO!" Aura screamed.

I heard Megatron laugh. "It's too late for that now, Autobot! We thank you for your contribution."

I heard a small cry and realized that wasn't me she was screaming for. She'd been pregnant, and they'd taken her sparkling. Those ditry, rotten, fraggin' bastards!

With an effort, I heaved each one off of me, smirking as I heard a sickening crack come from one of them.

That's when I felt Soundwave grab the back of my head. He threw me as far from him as he could. Oh yeah, I forgot: busting up his tapes pissed him off.

I crashed into the wall and slid down, my sword clattering to the floor next to me as Aura repeated herself over and over.

"Enough of this! Demolishor, dispose of her! Crypt, take our new recruit to be 'formally inducted!'"

"NO!" She thrashed around even harder.

"NOW Demolishor!" Megatron yelled as Crypt ran out with a crying bundle in his arms. I reached out an arm to grab him, but couldn't get a hold of him.

The idiot ran over to the table, where Soundwave threw the scalpel at him. I tried to get up, but my head was throbbing too hard from hitting the wall.

"HOW ABOUT NO?!" I heard Blackflare's voice as he ran past me, leaping over the table at Demolishor.

Suddenly, he went sideways instead of forward. Megatron had blasted him with his fusion cannon.

"Arrest him!" he ordered Soundwave, who grabbed the Seeker as soon as he landed.

A VERY loud scream hit the air. I thought my audio receptors were actually going to explode. Then, nothing.

"Finally." the king of pricks muttered as the killer backed up, looking shocked at what he just did.

"D-damn...Y-you!" Blackflare croaked from where Soundwave had him cuffed.

"Take him away! And the runt, too!"

I felt the overwhelming urge to beat the slag out of Megatron as the scene broke up into darkness.

XXXXXX

"He's awake!"

I sat bolt upright. The smell of raw energon was gone, replaced by wet grass. It was dark here too, but pleasantly, thanks to the moon.

Yeah, pleasant, especially since HE was living on it.

"Where am I?" I asked as a hand gently helped me pull myself up.

"Outside. It's okay, we covered for you."

I had this sudden urge to hold Alexis close to me and not let her go, but didn't. I needed to pull myself together.

"You guys think I should call the hospital?" I turned at Holly's voice, and glared daggers at who was standing next to her.

"Nononono! He's okay!" Alexis quickly reassured her. I flashed back to Aura being strapped down to the medical table, which only made me angrier.

"Actually, Holly, we'll need it after I'm through with him."

I ran toward Rad and seized him by the neck, Holly gasping in fear beside me. I heard Alexis scream.

He glared back, trying to push me off, kicking my shin. I tightened my grip as I felt Holly's hands trying to pull me off as she yelled, "Stop it, Gabe!"

I let go of his neck and shoved her away from me, still seeing red.

Without thinking, I yanked off my choker and detached my wingsword, running at him.

Then I heard Alexis yell, "STARSCREAM, STOP!!!"

I skidded to a halt, and was suddenly staring into tear-filled green eyes. I felt the sword all out of my hands.

"Please, Starscream. It's okay." she whispered to me.

I couldn't form words.

Looking over her head briefly, I saw Holly gripping Rad's hand hard as he tried to comfort her while she asked frantically what was going on. My cover was blown.

I felt Alexis's arms wrap around me, holding me tightly, tears soaking into my shirt as her face pressed against the side of my chest.

I tried to push her away. "Let go of me, Alexis!"

She shook her head.

"Let go!"

I heard a car pull up and gasp at us. Sideswipe.

"NOW!"

Alexis slowly did after hesitating a little longer, then looked up at me, still crying.  
I retatched my wing as she held out her hand to me.

Sighing, I gently told her, "Let Sideswipe take you home."

I turned on my heel and tore the mask off of my face, taking off as I heard her scream my real name from far below me.

I flew fast and far, not caring about getting tired or anything else anymore.

No, that's a lie. I did care about one thing, and one thing I realized I couldn't have: Alexis Wilson.

For once, I felt tears slide down my face and blow away. Then suddenly, I felt very tired and fell down, down, down into a large open hand.

Then I heard Optimus sigh, "What'll I ever do with you, Starscream?"


	28. Chapter 28

We're almost done! Just two more chapters to go! I don't own Transformers.

I cracked an eye open, then quickly shut it. It was so freaking bright.

"Will someone please turn those stupid lights down?" I growled.

"Easy, Screamer." came Swindle's worried voice.

Slowly, I got up, rubbing my eyes.

"Rough night, huh?"

"Gee, how could you tell?"

"Well, for one, you're freaking out at the lights."

I let out an exasperated sigh, dropping my hands.

"Guess you don't wanna talk about it?" he asked.

"Might as well. Sit."

As he sat down next to me, I asked, "How long was I out?"

"Just for the night."

"Good. I've got some errands to run today."

I told him everything that happened that night, even the kiss. If Rad knew, I might as well tell him, too.

"So basically, you and her are together now?" he asked, surprised at me.

I shook my head. "Not exactly. I told her to get away from me."

"Why? You can take Rad on!"

"That's exactly why. I had my wingsword drawn at him again, and if she hadn't been there to stop me..."

"You've gotta be kidding me!"

I shook my head. "Oh, and gues what? A human saw us."

His head swung to look at me sharply. "Please tell me you were joking."

I narrowed my eyes. "Did I sound like I was?"

Swindle's head spun in circles as he yelled at me, "What were you thinking, Starscream?!"

"Quit the spinning. You know I think that's annoying. Look, I've got it under control. I'm going to find Holly and straighten things out, then I'm going to talk to Alexis."

"Wait, I thought you told her to go away."

I let my head fall into my hands, exasperated. "I know, but I don't want to."

"I got none of that."

"I don't either, but it feels like something I need to do."

I felt his hand gently pat my back. "Well, do what ya gotta do. I'm behind you all the way."

I looked up at him. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Now we just gotta get you outta here without getting caught."

XXXXXX

It really wasn't much of a challenge because no one was near the entrance. Huh. Maybe they just got so tired of having to lecture me over and over that they gave up. Well, whatever, as long as it made things easier.

"Good luck." Swindle told me as I walked out. Knowing me, I was going to need it.

I was about to take off when a hand grabbed the back of my shirt. I whirled around, my eyes widening when I saw Alexis.

"We really need to talk." she said softly with a sad look on her face reminding me of the night before.

I nodded. "Yeah, but let's go somewhere more private."

I flew her up to the cliff-face's top, and we sat down, our legs dangling over the edge. Sureshock was up there, too, but she kept a distance away.

For while, she looked down at the desert floor below, then finally said, "Rad didn't mean to hurt me. It was just something I said that surprised him."

"What was that?"

She looked at me slowly, a ghost of a smile on her face. "I had to choose between him or you, and I chose you." I felt her hand on mine as she said that.

"And thanks to me not listening to you, I got caught."

She shook her head. "I talked to Holly this morning. She'd calmed down and told me that she won't tell anyone or try to figure out what you are because of how scared she was last night."

"She hates me, then."

"Not hate. She's just not curious anymore, but she still likes Rad."

Alexis smiled sadly at me. "And I still like you."

I forced myself to look at her, even though I felt like a piece of slag right about then. "I'm sorry about last night."

"Why did you leave like that?!" she asked with anger in her tone. Ah well, I deserved it anyway.

"Because I...well..." I let out a sigh. Why was this so hard? "You saw me last night. I was ready to seriously hurt Rad."

I saw a tear slide down her face, which I gently brushed away. I hated to see her cry.

"You really scared me then." she whispered.

"And that's why I don't want us together. This strange feeling I get whenever I'm near you makes me like that."

Her eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"My heart beats very fast, I can't breathe, and I can't stand another guy trying anything with you. I felt ready to break Rad's neck when he danced with you."

"Starscream, that's love."

"What?"

She looked surprised. "You don't know what love is?"

The blank look on my face was her answer.

Two tears slid down her face, and before I could brush them off and tell her to stop, she'd already thrown her arms around me.

"You've missed out, Starscream." she whispered in a choked-up voice.

I really had no idea about what she was talking about, but for some reason, I felt ready to cry again like the night before. What was wrong with me?

I wanted to make her stop crying, and only had one idea how to. I wanted to show her that I wasn't incredibly weak, and that I could deal with it on my own. Sounded cliche, but that was the only idea I had.

Before I could, though, Hot Shot yelled from below us, "Guys, come on! We've got another Mini-Con to find!"

Quickly we drew apart. I snapped back into the self I knew and motioned Sureshock over.

It was hard to fly with the two of them, but it was only for a short distance. This was exactly what I needed: something to distract me from something else I didn't understand.

XXXXXX

"Guess I got lucky." I muttered. Where we were fighting was another cliff-face around a lake. If I wasn't able to fly, or if the Mini-Con was on flat land, I probably would've been stuck walking.

The four of us (Swindle got brought along, too) had been dropped off near the top where there was still a decent path. The Decepticons weren't there yet, but they would be soon.

"Any ideas?" Swindle asked.

"How about we don't look too far down?" Alexis suggested. She was still a bit out of it.

"I can do that." I reassured her.

Sureshock made a motion that caught my eye. Once my attention was focused on her, she gestured to a hole in the rock that had a natural platform jutting to the left inside, then darkness on the right.

A blast exploded above us, and I dove to the side, knocking Swindle into Alexis, pushing them into the hole. Sureshock was too far to reach, but she got the hint anyway.

Dust and pieces of rocks went into the hole after us as we covered our heads with our arms. Great, Decepticons AND rocks. What next, a thunderstorm?

That's when I saw it embedded in the rock wall not five feet from me. Yup, it was the Mini-Con's green pentagon.

"Swindle, help me with this."

Together, we pulled it out just as another shot hit the rocks above us.

"'Least we'll be getting out of here soon." Alexis smiled as I handed it over to her.

It just HAD to glow very brightly then.

"Oh come on, not now!"

Too late. The Mini-Con woke up.

It was going to be a pain to cart all four of them out since we were too low to climb out, let alone the fact that we were being shot at.

A second later, we were being grabbed at.

Thrust laughed as we scattered, or at least tried to as he felt around for us.

"I know you're in there!"

"SURESHOCK!" Alexis screamed as he grabbed her. She tried to wrench her out of Thrust's grip.

I went to help her, but was pinned down by one of his fingers.

Swindle yelled after me as we were taken out of the hole, dangling helplessly. I flung all the insults I could think of at Thrust.

Then he reached in his other hand and pulled out Swindle and the new Mini-Con.

Okay, I hated him before, but at that moment I HATED him.

"Oh, Megatron, look what I have!"

Said pile of slag that was once again brawling with Optimus looked up and grinned. "Well, well, well, what have we here?"

"NO!" Prime yelled when he saw us.

"Let us go!" Alexis yelled at Thrust, who simply clenched her tighter.

I struggled harder against him. "When I get out, you're dead, you hear me?!"

"Oh, hush up, Screamer."

"It looks like we've won this little battle, Optimus, and I must say, we certainly have much more than we prepared for. Perhaps I should dispose of the extras?"

I spit back the nastiest human and transformer insults I could remember, save for raising my middle finger at him since my arms were pinned below me.

I felt a burst of pain in the back of my head as Prime lunged for Thrust, who sidestepped him.

Alexis noticed me, and screamed over at me as the whackjob warped out, taking my conciousness with it.


	29. Chapter 29

The last dream is here. Unfortunately, they will not will explained until the sequel. I don't own Transformers.

"Get up, you piece of slag!"

For a split second I thought Cone-Head was yellling at me, but the rattle of a cage nearby was a definite no.

It probably was a good idea to shut up anyway because he and Soundwave weren't ten feet from me. I was lucky because I was in another badly-lit room.

I already had a feeling about who was inside the cage, and it turned out I was right.

"The frag do you want?" Blackflare growled.

"Come." Soundwave simply said, unlocking the door to it. I couldn't tell exactly how big the cage had been, but Blackflare falling out of it said enough.

From where I was, I could tell he was in bad shape. There weren't two red glows where his optics should have been, for starters. Then we had all the gashes and dried energon caked on him. And let's not forget about his dented body. He'd been taking a hell of a beating for a while. I really didn't like where this was going.

Thrust cuffed his hands and yanked him up roughly.

"I can walk, you know." He still had the challenge in his voice, but he sounded weaker. They were treating him like an Autobot prisoner, except for the part about a cage instead of a cell. I wondered if he still had Decepticon insignias.

I saw one as he was led out. It was badly cracked, as in makes-Wheeljack's-old-Autobot-insignia-look-like-it-has-just-a-speck-of-dust-on-it.

Slowly, I got up and followed them down a hallway with no other Decepticons in it that got brighter with more distance, until it finally opened into a huge room.

My optics widened, and I instinctively drew my wingsword. I'd heard of these places before, but was never aloud to go to them because I hadn't pleased Megatron enough. It was an execution area.

I kept to the back wall as the two forced Blackflare through the small crowd of sick bastards that insulted and shot at him.

And what could I do for him? Nothing. I HATED that.

He was dumped on a platform in the middle of the room, and after an effort heaved himself to his feet and turned toward the crowd that was still yelling at him.

That's when a door swung open from behind the platform, making everyone shut up as in walked Megatron. What a surprise.

I wanted so badly to get some revenge, but I was outnumbered and I couldn't just creep around in the shadows because there were none.

His clawed hand grabbed his prisoner around the throat. That really had to hurt. I'd know.

"Let go of me."

I thought that was beyond stupid, and felt ready to kick myself for that. That's what I normally acted like around the slag pile with horns.

He was thrown hard to the floor with a sickening crack, and struggled to get up, but couldn't because his knees were now broken.

"You're pathetic."

My grip tightened in frustration as Megatron looked out at the crowd.

"Let this be an example to any of you traitorous cowards, and a treat to those who are loyal to me!"

He loomed over his "soldier," and I had flashbacks to the beatings I'd taken from him.

"What? No pleading? No last words?"

"You don't deserve them after you killed my mate." Blackflare croaked back. That would've sounded great if he wasn't in a world of pain right now.

Megatron and the crowd roared with laughter, really pissing me off while the Seeker stayed surprisingly calm. I STILL didn't have a chance to do anything about it.

"Your little Autobot slut? Is that what you went through all this torture and humiliation for? I pity you, I really do!" I heard zero pity in that, but once again, no surprise.

And at that, he blew Blackflare's head clean off, bringing cheers and laughter.

I felt ready to explode. I couldn't have done a damn thing because I would've gotten outnumbered and killed easily! Even if it was a dream, what would happen if I died in it? I didn't want to ever take that chance, not as long as I had someone I actually wanted to protect, instead of just "doing my duty."

The scene literally did explode into darkness, and as I plunged into it, I had a funny feeling that I wasn't going to have any of these freaky dreams again. And I was glad about it.

XXXXXX

Instead of being next to a cage this time, I was in one.

I jumped up and knew before looking around that I was in the place I used to call home. Home my aft!

Luckily, I didn't suffocate because there were pockets of air in the base so the cold of space wouldn't freeze the mechs inside over.

My eyes stretched as wide as they could go as I saw my "friends" sneering and snickering at me.

In the middle of them was Megatron, and I felt anger build inside of me until I thought that was all I was made of when I saw who he was holding: Alexis. She screamed as soon as I saw her.

"LET GO OF HER NOW YOU FRAGGING PIECE OF SLAG!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, my hands gripping the cage bars in front of me tightly.

Cyclonus threw back his head and laughed at me. Typical.

Megatron moved his fingers like he was stroking her, making my skin crawl.

"What do you want with us?!" she yelled at him, who shook her hard.

I was starting to see pure scarlet.

"For you to keep your mouth shut, first of all. And here's the much more fun reason: to make you suffer, Starscream."

"Oh, I'm sooo sorry for busting up your ego! You act like a sparkling!"

A shot landed near me as Wheeljack yelled at me to shut up.

"Bite me!" I snapped.

He held out Swindle, who he was now squeezing between his fingers.

I dropped the attitude, but kept my pissed off manner as he relaxed his grip. My partner collapsed on his back.

Oh, if I was still transformer-sized...

"Look, if you want to make me suffer, then kill me! Isn't that what you like to do? Well?"

Alexis looked completely terrified, and shook her head fast as he replied, "Be that as it may, this is quite fun. However, I feel the need to tear you apart and see what it is inside of your pathetic little shell that made you come back to annoy me.  
Demolishor, bring our little traitor to me, and then dump the brat and that pathetic excuse for a Mini-Con in the cage. They'll make good slaves with the other two."

Okay, good. I knew he wouldn't destroy Swindle or Sureshock because of how useful they could be to him. Now if I could just convice or least distract Demolishor long enough...

My cage opened from the top, and his gray fingers pulled me out.

I had an idea just then and slowly started to pull my hair away from its part.

Megatron had really been pissed one day and took it out on me. If it wasn't for Demolishor stopping him, I don't know what would've happened. But one of the things my oh-so-wonderful-leader managed to do was try to smash the top of my head in. Of course, that didn't happen, but I had a nasty scar from it.

I felt his grip relax briefly as he saw it. I didn't know why, but it made him feel guilty for some reason. Oh well, who cared?

I seized my chance and flew up and out of his hand.

"Get him, you fools!" Megatron ordered.

I spun sideways in the air to avoid the shots at me as I flew toward him, barely missing Demolishor's fingers trying to grab me.

"Hey, Cyclonus! Fire much?" I taunted, then dove out of the way as he ran for me, slamming into Demolishor. That had happened hundreds of times, and it was still funny.

"HELP!"

I shot up in the air. I'd fooled around way too long. Megatron was squeezing Alexis very hard. If I didn't get her soon, I wouldn't be wanting her back.

I landed on the top of his hand and tried to yank her out.

"LOOK OUT!"

I was nearly knocked off Megatron's hand his the other one. I'd managed to get out of the way mostly, but one of his claws gashed my forehead when it brushed by me.

Red liquid spilled into my vision as I tried to pull her out again, but I had to jump off again. I was getting nowhere fast.

Then I had another idea. I lunged for Leader-One, who had been sitting on the arm of Megatron's throne as usual.

Now he was mad. He let go of Alexis and tried to grab me with both hands, screaming, "Don't you dare!"

The end of one of his claws slashed across my ches.

I had to ignore the pain as I dove below Alexis to let her grab on.

She gasped at my chest. Looking down, I saw my uniform and shirt underneath had been ripped clean through, with blood trailing out from the slash mark. If I had not been wearing as much, it would have gone much deeper.

I heard a familiar engine revving over to me, and looked down.

Swindle was speeding away from Wheeljack, who'd probably let go of him to fire at me.

I landed on him and gripped his tail, while Alexis held onto my wing.

"Duck!" he yelled as Thrust made a low swipe at us, causing him to fall forward and roll. Finally, payback.

"Starscream!"

"The wound isn't a big deal, Alexis!" I yelled back at her.

"No, not that!"

"I'll say sorry later!"

"No, look!" She pointed to another cage suspended on a shelf above us, and inside were Sureshock and the new Mini-Con.

"Grab the tail!" I yelled, then leapt up at the cage.

I nearly ran into Tidal Wave's face. "Going somewhere?" he asked.

"Hey, gruesome! Pick on someone your own size!" Hot Shot's voice came with his gunfire.

I swept past the giant up to the cage and tried to unlock the top, but it was too big.

"Need a hand?" asked the Autobot mech, opening it up.

I nodded to him and flew down, letting the two hitch a ride.

When I flew back up, I saw how chaotic everything had become.

Blurr was firing at Thrust, who kept teleporting away, while Jetfire took on Tidal Wave nearby. Hoist had knocked Demolishor over and was going at it with Wheeljack while Sideswipe shot at Cyclonus, who was flying around like a maniac yet again.

"You going to make it?" he asked as I wavered in the air a little from blood loss and exhaustion.

I heard him cry out as Megatron slammed into him, knocking the shelf down. Great, I couldn't land even though I felt so tired.

"Starscream! Come here!"

I let out a sigh of relief and flew over to Optimus, landing on his hand and falling over. His hand closed above me in a fist as he comfortingly said that I'd be okay. I didn't give a flying slag at that point, but hey, that's what a good leader did.

The three of us were bumped around inside of his fist, and I could easily hear Megatron outside.

But suddenly, he was gone, and I was falling, then caught by another hand.

"Hot Shot, get them out of here!"

"You got it!"

Wait, where were-

"Starscream!" I felt Alexis hold me close to her. I was too tired to even kneel.

"Come on, Star! Just a little bit more!" Swindle worriedly cried from my other side.

"I'm...not dying." I croaked, feeling insulted by that.

I didn't pass out. Instead, I just felt myself slowly drift away as Alexis kissed my cheek softly. I could feel her tears rub onto my skin.


	30. Chapter 30

Okay, this is the final chapter of this story! Don't worry, though. There will be a sequel to this called Wasted and Gained. I'd like to thank my friends on Deviantart and here as well as my reviewers for their support. Thank you so much! I don't own Transformers.

Slowly, I felt myself come back to my body. Okay, I know that sounded strange, but that was the only way I can put it.

I was lying down and facing a light above me, but it was gently dim. The hum and beeping of computers echoed around me, and I realized I was in med bay.

"Oh great, here again." I muttered.

A chuckle came from near me. I knew it was Red before looking up at him. When I did look at him, I rolled my eyes.

"Unfortunately, if you hadn't done the right thing, you wouldn't be here." he replied after composing himself.

I put my hand to my forehead and felt a strip of cloth on it, then sat up slowly and looked at my chest. My shirt was gone, and a few long cloths were covering it.

"How long 'til these come off?" I asked.

"A couple days. Think you can keep them on for that long?" he asked.

"Depends on how willing you are to babysit me." I replied snarkily as usual, crossing my arms.

"Touche." Red Alert tossed me a shirt, which turned out to be the first one I'd ever had.

As I pulled it on, he added, "But, if I see you trying to remove them, I'm going to make sure you stay in the base this time, all right?"

"And just what do you think you'll do to make me?" I challenged.

He actually smirked. "Try me."

Okay, time to dodge a bullet. "I think I'll pass."

"Good choice."

I got off the bed as he walked over to a computer to keep working on something.  
And then I asked the most predictable question.

"She's asleep in the rec room with your partner. I needed her and Swindle out of the way this time. But Optimus wants to speak with you before you see them, Screamer. He's outside."

I nodded and began to walk away, then stopped, and turned to look at his back, which was still to me. "Wait, did you actually use my nickname?"

"You heard me." he simply said.

I felt a small smile as I left.

XXXXXX

"How are you feeling, Starscream?" Optimus asked when I joined him. It was sunset now, but everything looked gold and orange instead of red this time.

"Better. I can't take off these bandages yet, though. Lemme guess, lecture time?"

He shook his head gently and held out his hand. "No, just a talk."

Well, at least it'd be better than a lecture. I climbed on, and he leaned against the cliff face, looking out at the sunset briefly, then turning to look at me.

"I've been worried about you, Starscream."

I scoffed. "Who hasn't?"

"No, you don't understand. You really scared me when you fell out of the air last night."

I raised an eyebrow at him from where I was leaning against one of his gently coiled fingers. "And why were you outside last night, anyway?"

"To be honest with you, I was thinking."

I could get what he meant. Clear night, no noise...This wasn't cloak-and-dagger Megatron here, this was Prime, the hero and all that yadda-yadda-yadda. Why did I think he was trying to hide something from me? Oh yeah, he wasn't telling me about something he, Jetfire, and Red Alert had been planning.

"About what?"

He sighed. "About being too overprotective of my younger friends."

"But that's your job, isn't it?"

"It is, but I've gone overboard."

"No offense, but your answers aren't going anywhere." I hate it when people beat around the bush.

"I know. I'll just say it. I've been trying to protect you from something."

"What?!" I sprung up indignantly. You'd think that after taking on Megatron while being less than the size of his finger would say enough about not needing protection.

"I'll tell you what Jetfire, Red Alert, and I were planning. The shuttle is nearly finished to go back to Cybertron."

"WHAT?!?! You didn't tell me that?!" Wonder if heaving up and down like crazy could have made my chest wound worse.

"I thought you'd see it for yourself."

I felt ready to slam my forehead into something. That had been the last thing on my mind to look.

He must've caught my expression. "It's all right. You were busy with trying to adjust to human life. Now, we were planning about going there and debating whether or not who take with us."

I couldn't avoid this, so I simply asked, "Who's going?"

"Myself, the other Autobots, any of the kids that can, and you, Starscream."

He better not have been toying around with me, but when I looked up at his optics, I saw the serious expression in them.

"We need each and every one of the assests our team can offer to beat Megatron."

"You didn't kill him." I stated tactlessly.

"No. He got away this time. We all have a score to settle with him, which is one more reason we're all going."

After a few moments, I asked, "Optimus, why do you care?"

"About what?"

"About me. At some point you must've hated my guts, but now look." Seriously, this all made no sense to me.

"I can tell you why, and I've told you before: because you did the right thing," he replied without missing a beat, "There's more inside you than you think, Starscream."

Suddenly what he said about protecting me earlier clicked in. "I know what happened to Aura and Blackflare. I saw them die. You hid that from me!" I accused.

He slowly nodded, his optics clouding with some feeling.

"Why did you hide that?"

"The same reason I was debating about you coming to Cybertron. There's a truth on there, and I don't know if you can handle it."

"Just tell me now and I'll deal with it." I was so fed up with everything that I actually did want him to just spit it out already.

But instead, he didn't. "I have to let you find it on your own, Starscream, just like you found your ability to fly again."

"That's because I wanted to, isn't it?" I asked.

"That could also explain your dreams."

"You lost me."

"When you had them, Starscream, how did you feel?"

I shrugged, then thought a minute. "Well, I always felt a powerful feeling inside of me, not always the same one, but powerful. And...Whenever I did, it had something to do with Alexis."

He looked out at the sunset in thought for a little while, then turned back to me. "I'm sorry, but I can't explain that to you, either."

I clenched my fists. "I thought you didn't want to hide things from me! What kind of leader are you?!"

He shook his head. "I don't always consider myself a leader around you, or any of the other younger team members."

"Then what do you consider yourself?"

His optics were filled with pain as he replied sadly, "A father."

And I remembered how I'd heard Megatron stewing one day about Elita-One escaping from him. I didn't know if she was still alive, and neither did Optimus Prime. What if she had been Alexis? I really didn't want to think about that.

XXXXXX

"Thanks for flying me home." Alexis sighed, leaning her head against my shoulder.

We were sitting on the roof of her house, but it was dark out, and I doubted that anyone would be staring at the top of a house, anyway. Besides, I'd heard that some kids did this as well. (The sitting on the roof part, not the flying part.)

I held her closer to me, smiling. "No problem."

She opened an eye, and the moon reflected in it. "Promise me you won't scare me like that again."

"Well, I won't scare you in the same way."

"Starscream, I'm serious."

"I know. I am, too."

She sat up and gave me a disappointed look.

"Alexis, I have to go after Megatron. It's part of who I am."

"Nice to hear that revenge is part of you."

"There's that, and these." I held out my hands to show my insignias to her.

Alexis sighed sadly. "I know, but I don't want to lose you. I just don't!"

I caught her face in my hands as she looked down, ready to cry again, and made her look at me. "Stop crying in front of me. It makes me feel miserable."

"I'm sorry, but I can't help it."

"You can. I need you to, all right?"

She slowly nodded, "All right," and I let my hands slide off of her.

"I'm going to go to Cybertron."

"What?!"

"Relax. I want you to come with me. I need to find some answers there."

She knew what I meant, and I felt her hand on mine. "I'll figure out some way to go. What about the others?"

"They're coming too, if they can. Optimus's orders." That last part felt weird to say.

Still, I was glad that Alexis was surprised at me telling her about Cybertron. Prime hadn't been trying to leave me out of the loop. I really needed to work on my social skills, and that's just downplaying it.

"You won't mind?"

"I'll deal with it."

She looked down at our hands and asked, "What did you see that night of dance, and after Thrust grabbed us?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know."

"But I have to if I want to help you."

"This is something I have to figure out on my own."

Her head snapped up. "Quit trying to shut me out!"

"If I didn't, you would be hearing things no one like you is supposed to."

"Like?" she asked indignantly.

Having no other choice, I showed her the scar on my head, making her gasp.

"See my point?"

"But that doesn't mean I don't want to go with you!"

"I didn't say I didn't want you to."

Alexis's mouth slid into a smile and her eyes sparkled again.

I pulled her into me and kissed her, letting that feeling from the dance take me over for a little while again. I'd been feeling it while we were sitting next to each other, but of course not like this.

"Just let me handle it, all right?" I asked.

"If you'll let me handle my problems too, Starscream."

It felt hard to nod for some reason, but I did.

Alexis smiled wider and then moved to get off of me, but I held her back. Things were going to get very hard, which gave me all the more reason to enjoy what I had.

Besides, it's not everyday that I got to show Megatron who's boss and still be there in one piece to hold someone I cared about that also felt the same way about me. I wasn't as big and powerful as I used to be, and I'd definitely have some explaining to do and prejudice to deal with on Cybertron, but I'd have to live with it. That's because it had been my choice to not let Alexis die that night.

"The choices we make dictate the life that we lead. To thine ownself be true."  
-William Shakespeare


End file.
